ThE EmAnCiPaTiOn oF pAmMiE

Saturday, November 05, 2005

Sunset Monologue 102


Blog Musical Mood: Touched A Dream - R. Kelly

Sooo as mini-me played holiday music on the Viola for the Beauty Salon, I sat under the dryer and realized that I couldn't read lips worth shit (I never learned the craft) so I went inside my own head...which as we know is dangerous, lol.

For some reason this was the day folks decided to call. First let me set this up, The first incarnation of this blog was "Yakking it Up with Plicious" and I introduced three Brothers into the fold. "Italy" "Africa" and "Mobetta" Each of these names basically described their personalities.

"Italy" and I had a fling wrapped around the fact we went to High School together. He is a georgous brotha who lived out of town and now lives even further out of town and he has the dubious distinction of being that one man I have slept with this year,lol and that my friends was a long ass time ago,lol. "Africa" is a brotha my MOM tried to set me up with from NYC. He is the most conscious brotha I have ever met to the point where he is paralyzed in that spot, Freaking Brillant - I can't even go there the level of issues he has, but we have ground breaking conversation. Then there is "Mobetta" - ya'll know his ass, lol.

Well as life goes on, these three men have been in some form or fashion in my life since the blog began, so I try to mention them from time to time.

Anyway, "Italy" called me crack of dawn this morning as he traveled home from keeping this country safe yet another day. Our conversations now are almost like a debriefing - devoid of the 'spark' we used to possess - now just ashes of an inferno that burned bright, intense and fast. Actually my only successful fling. We spoke quickly yes, fine, not yet, still looking, stopped exercising, have a blessed day, lol.

Next up "Africa" called. Now this conversation was quite interesting because he holds me in a spectrum of respect - that flatters me to no end. I'm the next best thing to sliced bread according to him and every blue moon a person needs that. He asked me has I found me a brotha and I said nope and he begins (now he's met me ONCE but we loggged some hours on the phone earlier this year) to explain to me that I am caught in a catch-22 because I am a woman and I have needs and desires for a mate, yet I am intelligent. He explained to me that I couldn't stop being myself so even if I cut the smart off to snag a man, I am going back to being myself and alot of Brothas can't handle that. He said men are programmed to look for the easy 'kill' and I'm not it - so unless a man is truly ready for the slow steady roast - I ain't the one. It's unfair but it's a reality. He had me dying laughing as he said I'm the type of sista that make you use words like vagina and penis' instead of popular nicknames, lol lol. Yet I have the complexity of being a down to earth normal human being.

Now couple that with what Serial Dater said (Yes it's still is filed away in my mental rolodex)and I have something quite interesting to think about. Now intelligence whether it be book, street or common is not something I am willing to pretend I don't have for the benefit of men who are not evolved enough to present an even higher intelligence. I am NOT all that smart in my book, so if I've alienated or isolated a man because of my intelligence - that's laughable. Especially since I only deal with equally intelligent men. The disconnect is 20% my fault but 80% the man in question.

I've added a line from SATC to my book of wow moments - "The Breakup is not symtomatic of the relationship" W-O-W!! Say that shit again "The Breakup is not symtomatic of the relationship" - That's why I could and sometimes when I feel like moaning talk bad about the real relationships I've had, yet I can't even lie - they were NOT THAT BAD! Hell most of my breakups wern't either, lol I had one filled with drama - otherwise the rest were the kind where you wake up and instead of being on either side of the bed - you are on either side of the house. I say all that to say unless your breakup involved an ass whipping, enormous debt or something that was life dibilitating (and of course your threshold for pain comes into play) - then think about it - Only after the breakup were they the worst screw of your life, they were lazy, sloppy, trifling, you didn't like them anyway...Hmmmm oh really? Take the relationship for what it was when you were relating and see the breakup as a separate entity. Funny I've always been doing that - what in the world gave me that capacity?!

Well only a little more time (under the dryer) so to speak and it was spent in question mode:

Ya'll have a good nite....yah hear!

Posted by Pamalicious :: 9:50 PM :: 5 comments

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