ThE EmAnCiPaTiOn oF pAmMiE

Thursday, March 31, 2005

Sunset Monologue 24

Qualification Is A Must

Set Up Your Resume' of Your Dating Life!

As I was driving home, I thought about a subject I had on my mind awhile ago. For single people attempting to mate up there are so many preferences, wants, needs, desires - but what are we doing to QUALIFY people and point blank are we QUALIFIED ourselves? What makes us to be viable relationship material and if we aren't, wouldn't it be nice if we could find out without all the personal involvement? So, one of my quirky thought patters was what if everyone came with a resume' of sorts? I mean we now come with a personal page - why not? Explain to me other than you having a huge member and drive a big car etc. what makes you a 'good choice'. The idea formulated in my mind and so I decided to sit down and see what one could possibly look like and of course I'm going to share it with you.

Decatur Where It's Greater
Decatur, GA XXXXX
a cool name@a



Culinary, Parental, Professional, Communication, Familial, Intimacy, Sexual, Hospitality;

Relationship Experience

October 2004 - Present The High Seas
Contractual Agreement As Needed

March-August 2004 Southern Charmer
Reason for Termination: Declining of promotion package (Marriage) led to dismissal.
Responsible for Termination: Joint Resignation

2001-2003 Frequent Flyer Miles
Reason for Termination: Uncharted Weather Cancelled Flight
Responsible for Termination: Still Looking for the Black Box to confirm

1999-2000 Toys for Tots
Reason for Termination: Overloaded Sockets and Infidelity
Responsible for Termination: ME

1998-1999 City Government at it's finest
Reason for Termination: Smoke inhalation caused brain damage
Responsible for Termination: ME

1996-1997 Getting My Feet Wet
Reason for Termination: Relocation with no package offered
Responsible for Termination: HIM

1988-1994 First Comes Marriage
Reason for Termination: Death
Responsible for Termination: Murderers

Additional Interests

Reading, Writing, Entertaining, Internetting, Bowling, Conversing, Concerts, Cooking;

References Supplied Upon Request

Posted by Pamalicious :: 10:06 PM :: 0 comments

Speak Your Piece


Wednesday, March 30, 2005

Sunset Monologue 23

Spring is in the Air!

I can smell spring!

Oh Man! The sun was streaming thru my window this morning and I couldn't do anything but wake up with a smile on my face. Now I am awaken not by the grumble of winter, but by a bird sitting outside letting me know spring is in the air! One of the many reasons why I love the South.

On the ride to work today, I just felt more aware. I flirted outrageously with the brotha in the old ass BMW and he almost bumped the car in front of him - a good sign! Lip Gloss application is one sexy thing if done right (wink)(wink. I pulled out my Old School Funk Compilation CD and jammed all the way.

I even accept the rain, it also is refreshing and awakening my yard (yuck). I am already making all kinds of plans for the upcoming months and I tell you I am feeling my mojo getting bubbly ;)

Dateless in Atlanta

Hmmmmm, haven't tapped this subject specifically in awhile...maybe because THERE'S NOTHING TO DAMN TALK ABOUT!!

I have been on a kinda self-imposed 'break' from all men actual, but I've been keeping my mind sharp by hanging on the cesspool known as Blackplanet. I enjoy reading the groups and picture surfing and swatting off the annoying nats, lol

Italy is deep in the move process, Africa is starting to whine at my indifference to the conversation and Mobetta and I are almost at the top of the rollercoaster we ride with one another - maybe I'll stand up this time and fly off, it would be just as painful.

A Number One and a.....Happy Meal Please

Lately I have been approached by brothas in the 29-32 year old age range. I am quite surprised if I'm honest and oh so flattered if I'm brutally honest, lol lol I, like alot of people, have all these 'parameters' set up about dating and recently my age restrictions have been 35-45 - but you know what? I'm going to examine that within myself. There are some together brothas out here and the more I narrow my focus the more I'll miss all those in my peripheral vision.

Posted by Pamalicious :: 10:14 PM :: 2 comments

Speak Your Piece


Monday, March 28, 2005

Sunset Monologue 22

A Cluttered Mind

As with alot of creative, lefthanded, gemini types - Today has been a day for incomplete sentences, lol My mind has been all over the place and quieting it has been unsuccessful. During these times my diary is ineffective but HERE can be a goldmind. So I've cut on Yahoo Music Launch to the Quiet Storm and now I'm going to empty my head of most of what is swirling around - -

Wait Till You See My...

I no longer have to wait because it's become quite popular for my brothas to show their stuff wayyyyy before you ever meet them. Now the "Pros" that's what they do, but what is possessing 'Jamol' to expose himself to the world? No I'm not a prude, but I'm a sensual/analytical person and immediately when I'm presented with a man's privates I think first 'So you've been reduced to selling yourself by your genitals' and then 'So tell me again what I have to look forward to?' Is this a validation of the 'rumor' or a 'statement' about the appeal, I don't know because I'll admit 9 times out of 10, my mouth waters just a bit at the visual, but I still think - how do you now go about clothing an individual? I mean sometimes you don't even see their face - so now they just become a part of Ken we wished he had come equipped with in all of our Barbie Play, lol

Part of the sheer pleasure is the 'unrobing' process and that glazed watery look you get the first time 'Johnson' is revealed, if I've already seen it (1) I've morphed it to magical proportions and (2) I'm setting myself up to be disappointed - so sure it's your right to present yourself the way you see fit - but I still enjoy unwrapping the package, because as we know - trying to rewrap something is hard as hell!


Why would a person send a phone number on an internet site sans ANY conversation? Just toss it to the wind. Call Me xxx-xxx-xxxx... ok ringgggggg Hi May I speak to Mrdouright? LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL

Preferences - check all that apply

So many times people try to make other people feel guilty about their preferences, particularly when it comes to a potential mate and especially when it comes to the physical. I think the cruelest trick God ever played on man was having him desire a certain person but making sure there was no guarantee that desire was desiring you. I made peace awhile ago with the fact that everything that I like is NOT going to like me, but maybe 3 out of 10 will and I am going to make sure I'm ready for them, lol lol

My preferences like alot of people have morphed over the years. I am a child of the 80's so I wanted 'him' to be as lightskinned, curly haired and thin as humanly possible - the closer to El Debarge the better. I chased that for a number of years and even married it, lol Then one day (and I'll never forget) a girlfriend suggested - during a dating slump - that I give a thicker brotha a try, she said I would appreciate the extra weight. Around that time Wesley Snipes and darker brothas were being recognized in the media and against my skin, the darker color looked esquisite. I was still hesitant because the look I was going for was one who stayed in the gym and I would be sitting in the car WAITING on him to finish, lol But by chance I actually met someone that fit the bill (MoBetta to be exact) and the REST IS HISTORY!! Oooo Weeee was THAT to my liking (skin color as evidenced by all of my Baby Daddies of the Week) - so now 10 years into dating, my preference is a brotha of a darker hue, about 6 feet, muscular but not obsessive, with that swagger that makes me wanna follow.

Are they always attracted to me? Nope, but that's all part of it - we all are attracted to people who may or may not even notice we are alive, but the challenge is to (1) find that one that is and (2) see how many of your preferences are really just that preferences or dellusions, lol

Becky and Shanana Sitting In A Tree

W-O-R-K-I-N-G. Ahh the workplace, a Lord of the Flies like existence (the other example of this is internet chat/discussion groups) where Becky and Shanana work side by side, but never really together. Why is Becky always afraid of Shanana? Is it because she gets offended when you go psssst to get her attention? or you speak as if she's not around? or she looks you right in the eye when you speak to her, but her face is expresionless? Becky gets sooo upset when she can't 'read' Shanana because then she can't gauge if she's using her diversity training to the hilt.

Becky is young, fresh out of school and on the fast track. Shanana is in her 30's, a couple of kids and been at her job for years. Shanana can 'see' the Beckys coming in and getting promoted, but Shanana's feet, heart, and spirit are all tired so just give her the check and back the fuck up!

In the cafe Shanana and her friends sit together at a table not to far from Becky and her friends. Some of the conversation is the same, but most of it is different. Becky wonders how Shanana vibes and bonds so easily, is must not be true what they say about Shanana and her interpersonal relationships with other Shanana's. So why does Shanana look ever so bored when Becky is telling her all about her weekend at the lodge?

Becky see's Shanana talking to Raekwon and tries not to look because though Raekwon is quite handsome - the force field Shanana has put around him prevents her from even imagining. She'll just have to wait and see if like alot of Raekwons there's a Biff waiting to get out....

Shanana and Becky sitting in a tree...W-O-R-K-I-N-G

Posted by Pamalicious :: 10:44 PM :: 0 comments

Speak Your Piece


Sunday, March 27, 2005

Sunset Monologue 21

Building an ARK in Decatur, GA

Susie Homemaker.....Are You There?

A Badge of Honor...Lost

I woke up this morning to the gentle patter of rain on my window. I love Sunday mornings - it's my God time and I like to just lay there and reflect. I happen to cut the TV on and tuned into The Food Network. As I lay there I got melancholy because there's a part of me that has been unfulfilled for so long; she's scared to come out and that's being.......Susie Homemaker.

Who is Susie you might ask? Well she's a term for a woman who enjoys being a wife, mother, homemaker. She is Beavers Mom, Carol Brady and in some ways Claire Huxtable - the remix. She is usually featured on most sit-coms but rarely in everyday life. She enjoys cooking large meals, doing for her family and making life better for them all the time.

I remember fondly baking cakes on a Sunday for my late husband or getting ready for a dinner party with several of our closes friends. Big backyard BBQ's where I would stand back and watch people devour and enjoy what I have done to the yard and food.

I ENJOYED being a wife and the things that came along with it. I sometimes feel like I was born out of my real time period, lol I want to be a stay at home mom wearing an apron and pearls - with a drink for my husband and meatloaf on the table at six.

I feel thrust into the hustle and bustle of the modern world, where as much as I want to do the above things; it's just not feasible so I putter along in this one with take out and box cakes and eating in front of the TV.

On some level, I have to hide that side of me because it's considered 'corny'. I'm suppose to love working outside the home and being 'independent' and not 'catering' to a man's needs. It's 2005 not 1955 right?

Well as I lay there looking at all those exquisite meals, I'm NOT cooking for my husband and family and all the dinner conversation we're NOT having and all the afterhours 'couple'time I'm NOT having...I wish I were back in 1955, but I'll trudge on here in the present and feel rest assured that there must be something hella fantastic waiting for me in the future.

You Changed My Internet!

Two different sites have rolled out new 'looks'. Blackvoices who was sold to AOL, is finally accepting new members after teasing us for quite some time. The look is sleek and it's pretty easy to move around. It's looking alot like MSN if you ask me, lol I wonder if there is spyware etc. and they are tracking the internet habits of blackfolks (Like they haven't already been. Yahoogroups has also changed it's format. It's the first change since they ditched the club format and went to 'groups'. Unlike that change, however, they gave us NO WARNING! As a viewer I like the new format as a moderator they have changed alot of things that has almost caused me to sign the petition going around, lol LEAVE STUFF ALONE WHY DON'T CHA!

I'd like to give shout out's to..

I want to take a few moments and spread some love to some spots and peeps that have certainly shown a sista some love.

First, I'd like to give a shout to Rod for being out here for me to find and thus start up my own blog. The brotha is fierce and his blog is great. Open your mind and open his blog and check it out. I'd also like to give a shout to SJ-the infamous. It's not common (unfortunately) that sista approach other sistas for friendship and I appreciate the restoration of faith that we can vibe with our own sex on the net and it just be about that vibing.

I'd also like to lead you to a new up and coming dating spot for African Americans. It's brand new, unsullied and awaiting you!

I'd also AGAIN like to thank each and everyone of you, who tune in to read what I have to say. There's still alot of confusion about exactly the purpose and that's what makes it so delicious to write, lol Because there is no purpose! It's just me speaking to whomever will listen and that feels damn good!

Baby Daddy of the Week

I'd love to draw his bath!

Posted by Pamalicious :: 10:13 PM :: 3 comments

Speak Your Piece


Saturday, March 26, 2005

Sunset Monologue 20

Comcast FINALLY fixed the internet and cut a Sista Back On!


Water...Water...I Need Water

At some point in everyone's life, especially if you are single - there comes a time where you experience a 'drought' or at minimum 'drought like conditions'. A lot of us don't like to admit that, because it flies in the face of (1) all the lying we do on the net about how much we are scoring and (2) it's just damn pitiful,lol.

Some people never experience 'droughts' (lucky bastards) but for those of us that do - let's explore the phenomenon.

"Drought" status sneaks up on a lot of us gradually. We might have a plane fly over and drop nourishment on us ever 4 weeks or so and we don't realize that we are approaching drought conditions. One day however when the dust settles and we are laying in our beds late at night it dawns on us - - it's been what? 3-4 months since we've had any 'water' and then the psychosis begins, lol Twitching, Mind Wandering, Evil attitudes, Dull Eyes and Skin and Delusions begin to overtake us, especially after 'self nourishment' ends up leaving a bad taste in your mouth.

Now for the "Camels" among us - going without 'water' is something that is just a part of the life cycle and no real energy is given to lack thereof. This set of people are usually the ones who know how to slow their heartrate down to the bare minimum and who wants to mess with them anyway,lol

For the REST of us - it is a SERIOUS ISSUE!! Now like a lot of 'water' deprived individuals; Personally I start to hallucinate. We start to see 'mirages' and the like. As we are crawling along on the desert floor, tongue out, longing for one drop of 'water' - we pass by phonebooks, IM Friend List and other 'trash' that we know not to pick up, but we handle it and smell it and try to remember it when it was fresh and wonder if we could salvage it but then the dilemma: is all 'water' good 'water'?

If you are not at total dehydration; the question is "do I want to drink from the first water source I run into or do I want to keep on till I find a well?" NOTHING IS WORST than jumping into a pool of water to find out it is shallow, lol. When you're just parched - the goal is to find a deep deep well, where you can drink several times, long satisfying gulps, filling yourself up. However, if you are just about to lapse into a coma - water is water and even recycled water is better than nothing - as long as you make it clear that this is just a quick swim and you're not getting a membership to the pool.

One day I hope to hit the jackpot and come upon an oasis, where I can take a dip whenever I want and it's always just the right temperature - - until then however, I'm crawling along the rest of you, hand, knees and heart scorched in search of a 'well' I can partake of..if only till it dries up.

Getting My Exercise On!

As mentioned in a previous entry, I heard the female scream heard around the world "OH HELL SUMMER IS RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER" I'm here to report that I tossed the remote on the couch and went OUTSIDE and got my walk on.

My block is HUGE and more like a BMX Bike Trail than a flat block. Hills and Valleys. So it's NO JOKE for the inexperienced like myself, lol

I got my 'dog stick' and my daughter got her bike and we headed out. My current goal is twice around said block.

Let me tell you - I thought I was seeing stars, by the time I ended up back at my house on LAP ONE! I am so embarrassed! Good Lord! My daughter was just yacking and yacking and I'm like "I cant' use up any AIR talking to YOU, I'd pass OUT" LOL LOL I could feel the cholesterol breaking off in my veins and my lungs were definitely like WTF?!

I felt good however cause I am trying to do it. I gotta get these 15 pounds OFFFFFFFFFFFF!!

So it's okay if you see me huffin and puffin - just throw cold water on me and make some mooo'ing sounds and I'll be OFFF!

Plicious At The Movies

Ms. Congenitality

Miss Congeniality

Hmmmmm, I"m a bit torn about this movie. I went to see it last nite because my daughter LOVED the first one. I've never really been a fan of Sandra Bullock, but I am of Regina King so I went. It was either that or Mr. Pacifer so I picked at least a 'girl' movie.

First I noticed on a Friday nite - there were only about 20 of us at this movie but then again they had it showing on two screens and maybe us 7:45 people were spill over from a sold out 7:15 showing.

Ok, the story was not so bad - Sandra is her same character from one. Benjamin Bratt dumps her (by phone) in the first say 30 minutes and that affects her deeply. She also due to her notoriety can't really do undercover work so she takes a job as 'the face of the FBI" She's a bit dippy and has that snort, so of course they hire a gay man to spruce her all up. (I'm about sick of the gay sidekick).

In a nutshell - Ms. USA gets kidnapped with the pageant host (played wonderfully by William Shatner (who is quickly turning into a replacement for Leslie Nielson with the humor, lol) and Sandra's character decides to figure out the case and get her friends back.

Harmless enough, some good gags etc. Now here's the difficult part. Regina King as the Angry Black Woman and the 'way' Sandra's character interacted with her. Ok, I'll admit - I'm probably reading wayyyy more into it than I should, but it felt 'funny' watching Sandra basically belittle her and then make 'fun' of the angry black woman persona etc. etc. in a theatre full of whites. There weren't laughs coming from the audience more like 'snickers' and that bothered me.

You could crack Regina's face it was so tight for most of the movie. She was just pissed off to the highest level of pissivity! Dang! Always fighting, and arguing and just MAD!!

I know the character was suppose to be over the top but dang.

I also didn't like some of the 'funny' lines that Sandra got at Regina's expense.

Regina has built herself a strong solid career as the 'side' character and Vh-1's on The Best Week" ever said that this week was HER BEST WEEK EVER, with articles, awards and a new movie out there so I applaud her. I just didn't like the dynamics of this role.

So for the overall movie I give it an B
for the dynamics I give it a C-

Posted by Pamalicious :: 9:59 PM :: 0 comments

Speak Your Piece


Thursday, March 24, 2005

Sunshine Monologue 5


Answer: Watching Paint Dry, Looking at your own pulse; Question:How boring is my life right this second? Good Grief! Talk about having 'downtime'! I can't even front and create some exciting life. I'm definitely in a hibernation state and it's about to run me crazy. Ooooo is that my phone ringing? Nah just the TV, I'm back Hmmm, (twiddling my thumbs) sooo what do I do now? Well I've never tried using the remote with my right hand (I'm left handed) and I've never sat on the left end of the couch. I'm thinking of my mother and if I told her I was........BORED! She would immediately retreat and come back with a whole book of stuff for me TO DO! I have a list somewhere of that stuff, but that's too much like Right - so I won't be doing that. Ahhh that is the phone - someone ELSE with not SHIT to do!! We chat about our situation and then I hang up Dang wasting good nothing time talking to them.

I feel like I've lost my 'mojo' and my 'it' factor that endears me to many is on ice. I know it is up to ME to shake it off and come on out of hiding, but I have absolutely no motivation to do so. Being a creative mind, I need muse's and things to inspire me and I think that's why I've been hibernating. I just haven't found that thing: not a man, a good book, a good tv show or anything. I'm veryyy veryyy sleepy right now - maybe tomorrow my 'mojo' will return....

The Scream Heard Around The Country

Spring is beginning to breakthrough! I see little buds of flowers, people beginning to come out the house and survey their yards and the days are getting slightly longer.....I also know because simultaneously every woman in America walked in front of a mirror and SCREAMMMMMMMED!! Summer is right around the corner and I look a pale, ashy, MESS! OH MY GOD! (yes even African Americas get 'pale' in the winter). There's hair in places that are just not right, my feet has 3 inches of ash and where did I get this belly roll?! So now becomes the panic race - gotta get the weight off, some kinda color and my feet ready for sandles by Memorial Day. It's the ONLY conversation at the lunch table at work and women's magazines are going into overdrive by showing us all the wonderful summer attire we can fit in AFTER we rid ourselves of the winter 10! Walkman's, Dumbbells and athletic shoes......and Trimspa are flying off the shelves!

Starting tonight, I'm getting out there myself. I'm giving myself till my Birthday (June 4th all cards and well wishes can be directed to my email addy, lol) to get my act together! At my age - the dream of cutting back on just what I eat, is just that a dream! I gotta work this old body out. I hate working out, feel like it's damn near Sacrilegious BUT I be damned if I look like a giant yellow bus in the cutie cropped pants this summer! So if you see me huffing and puffing in a neighborhood near you - just wave and come back when I got my summer game face on!

Music and Me and......My Car

Most of Atlanta's residents spend more time in their cars then they do actually at the destination they are trying to reach, so having music is just as important to having say...GAS in the car, lol My entire front seat is devoted to my music and you better not touch it! I carry around at any given time up to 50 CD's and I'm not the only one. Atlanta takes it's car music SERIOUS! I've seen people pass CD's from car to car and I've seen cars be made to dance up and down Columbia and Glenwood - we love us some music! What's funny is trying to figure out what people are listening to. I'm not a dancer, never professed to be, however, I'm freakin J-LO from the waist up. I am JAMMIN and I get looks and hollers etc. and if I were to roll down the window and you discover that I'm listening to.....MILLI VANILLI would you be mad? Did you think Jay-Z was making me bounce...NOT. We don't get me wrong, I like some hip hop, but I have my own taste and for the most part it resides in the early 80's- thru late 90's. I also have 'mood' CD's in the car. If the world is getting on my nerves I put in "Ya'll gon make me loose my mind" and a little Public Enemy always sets the mood! or if I just need some 'healing' I put in my "Gospel for everyone" CD and let it reassure me it's gonna be alright. If I feel like reliving me and MoBetta's Relationship I put in the CD with all the songs I feel chronicle that relationship. I have many others for whatever mood as I'm sure others do as well. Mini-me cringes on the regular at my car musical escapades, but seems to like when I do The Five Heartbeats dialogue when the Four Tops come on, lol So if you see the Elantra Rocking - - just know it probably is totally not what you think.

Posted by Pamalicious :: 10:27 AM :: 1 comments

Speak Your Piece


Monday, March 21, 2005

Sunset Monologue 19

That Male/Female Thang

Cooper Laurie's My Woman

Lately I’ve been having a lot of conversation about male/female relationships on all levels. At work, home, on the phone and on the net - it seems that we spend A LOT of time trying to figure out how to co-exist in this world. There are all kinds of rhetorical conversation as to WHY and WHEN we became so disjointed, but it doesn’t solve our immediate problem - we are going into what 20 years of being that way. Sure we’ve always had problems but from the age of 18 until my now 39th year of existence - things have gotten BAD!

I have no idea what you want and for some reason I’ve been getting the impression that you just don’t CARE what I want. It seems as if for both sexes the wading thru the cesspool to find that one flower is getting harder and harder and quite frankly, who wants to be bothered, lol

The internet has spoiled my generation rotten! The ability to look wayyyy outside of our immediate circle has left us naked and out of doors in more instances than not. We have succumbed to the escapism that the net provides and we’ve all started to believe our own hype. According to us we are all ‘fit, stable, God-fearing, gainfully employed and might I add - off the chain in the sack!

I find it hard to even have casual conversation anymore with brothas on line because there’s always this……AND. And what? We’re talking, why must there be something else? Do you have anything pressing to do? Don’t let me hold you, lol Brothas no longer return casual emails, or phone calls unless you lower your voice to that seductive tone and imply that there’s more to come.

Sistas have just quite frankly - gone savage! We are naked, raunchy, vulgar and overly aggressive as if our Vaginas are on fire and only a man’s hose can put it out! We have eaten the man shortage sandwich and are DETERMINED to get us one of the three men left by any means necessary.

I envision, because the earth is round which means it’s going to come back around again, that the Brothas and Sistas who are now being trampled by the rabid masses - slowly but surely start to be seen and heard and that the noise of us few - drowns out the chit chit chatter of the rest.

Bitter Bitter Bitter

Cooper Laurie's "Face Reality"

The Dictionary defines Bitterness as “Difficult or distasteful to accept, admit, or bear, Proceeding from or exhibiting strong animosity: Resulting from or expressive of severe grief, anguish, or disappointment: Marked by resentment or cynicism

Think on that the next time you call a woman bitter - does she have a reason to be?

Calling the MAN on your MAN

One of the lessons learned from the Atlanta Brian Nichol’s Case is the following: When you call the MAN on YOUR MAN, you set in motion something that is totally out of your control. To many times in our various fits of rage, we decide that the best way to ‘get him’ is to call the Authorities/Police. What we fail to understand is that after we calm down and are laying up next to said brotha - the MAN is happily working overtime to make sure he puts us out of our ‘misery’. Stop, Breathe and THINK before you pick up the phone!

The Emancipation of MiMi

Mariah "Mi Mi" Carey
Well look who’s back?! Mariah Carey! Coming out strong with her first single; “It’s Like That”. In stores April 12th. Not sure if MTV is still jocking her, but you know we’ll welcome her on back with open arms, lol

Feeding MY TV Addiction

Arghhhhhhhh! I am so fustrated.! Why does television hook you on shows and then just when you are rearranging your life to watch; they start the re-runs!! EVERYTHING is for the most part in re-runs and I’m sick of it!! I haven’t even been really watching, because my schedule is set and I don’t want to add any ‘new’ shows to the roster. I did watch “House” the other day however and was intrigued since ER is now the free clinic or something; I have been on the market for a new hospital show.. I might have to start taping Amazing Race to check this out since Rob and Amber have taken the keystone cop aspect out of the show with their scheming. I don’t want to see a calculated run, I want to see it wild and free! We’ve only had what? 4 episodes of Girlfriends, what’s the deal with this?! I know the non-reality shows better come on and come on quick!

Posted by Pamalicious :: 11:25 PM :: 0 comments

Speak Your Piece


Sunday, March 20, 2005

Sunset Monologue 18

Mr. Deville WE are ready for our closeup

Are We Really Drama-Free?

It has become part of the everyday venacular ESPECIALLY on Personal Ad sites to proclaim "Drama Free" or "People with Drama need not apply" or "If you got drama move on". Isn't the instance of drama relative and who exactly deems us 'drama free'? If we are deciding ourselves that we are drama free isn't that kinda like saying Low Fat but if you read the back of the box - it's loaded with additional calories?

It's not as if the lady from Poltergist comes into our lives and proclaims "This Person is Drama Free". It might just be that we have gotten the upper hand on our life circumstance, so it's no longer something that stresses us or causes us to have emotional issues behind it. However, to the outsider - you might be up to your eyeballs in drama, lol.

Just because you have mastered how to be broke doesn't mean that a potential mate might not see you being broke as.....DRAMA.

Just because you have finally figured out how to keep your three baby momma's from killing each other doesn't mean that someone coming into that situation doesn't see....DRAMA

Just because you've deduced that living at the Econolodge is a 'smart' move that doesn't mean that someone sitting on your bed as the couch doesn't see that as......DRAMA.

I think a more accurate or realistic proclamation should be "Got It ALL under control" and "If your Life is out of control keep stepping" because your ability to keep your circumstance IN CONTROL is what calms people's nerves. Not the false advertising that you are without drama; because we all have some form of drama in our lives and if you don't - then I might want to find out about your emotional balance, lol

Who You Callin a Bitch

He Stopped - - Your Turn!

Apparently The Source Magazine in their relentless (rollin my eyes) attempt at journalism, is fighting to release new unreleased rhymes from Eminem; where he continues to degrade Black women (the first set of lyrics released found him calling black women bitches etc.) This time he's calling us stupid. Honestly, if that's all he can come up with then I laugh because the BLACKMAN calls me much worse on a day to day basis. I've been and continue to be all kinds of bitches and hoes and I'm only good enough to be brought out in dog collars and have credit cards slid thru the crack of my ass - so I'm not even sure if I WANT YOU defending my honor - because it's hypocritical at it's essence and downright embarrassing at the least. If you would stop giving the entire world permission to disrespect me, then you have every right to get your feathers in a ruffle. I'm also not really interested in the old adage "What we say in the house is cool, but don't let someone in the yard say it and we ready to fight" What we say in the house my brotha is filthy and so if the yard is getting old cars and couches in it - then it matches the decor on the inside.

SO WHAT Eminem at some point in his rap career called me all kinds of names...Surprisingly he no longer does and YOU STILL DO!!!!!!!

Dateless in Atlanta

My Men are like Rice Cakes
Look all filling but in essence are just puffed air, lol I have several Men in my life but no man and there is a difference.

Corporate IT the object of my 9-5 desire is just as oblivious (or so he's acting) to my Pavlov response to his presence as when I first met him. He does however seem to make his way to my space sever days a week. Yes I'm that enchanting, lol. Italy followed his star home, spent some time and is now back off into the sunset. There are no lingering desires and no unsaid things - his expedition of Milan is becoming permanent and life continues to go on and on Africa has of course started to miss 'modern amenities' and lets me know it every chance he gets. New technology is out however and I'm not sure his harddrive can take it and then there's MoBetta like in the movie of his name, I think that he's laid among the albums playing his imaginary trumpet long enough and just might be ready to come in the rain to talk to me. I am more guarded than Fort Knox, my heart in the vault in the back, lol but I am not going to bring old embers into this new fire - we'll see if this time will be sweeter.......

Entertainment Tidbit

A Lil Sumptin Sumptin

Seems as though Maxwell has started, after a what five year absence in which time we have all just dried up and DIED, is starting to do club dates. Is there something on CD about to come out? I can't wait to be locked up until the cops come knocking again.

Don't you hope LiL Kim does no time on her conviction for perjury so she can write some the best raps of her career cussing out LiL Caesar and all those punk friends of hers who sold her out?

Aren't you DAMN GLAD that Mike's Porn collection is for the most part normal?

Don't you wish you could totally turn down the Ying Yang Twins on "Wait till you See my Dick" and just listen to that snippet of the sample from Brittney's "Slave for you"? OH and why do I get the feeling if we saw their dicks we would...laugh?

Wasn't the Soul Train Awards really the Ciara and Usher variety hour? and wasn't Fantasia's performance worth sitting thru that nonsense?

Did anyone see Ruben in the audience this week at AI? Didn't he look like he wanted to be back on the show so he could win for real?

My Baby Daddy of the Week

Glenn Lewis - Chocolate Dream!

Posted by Pamalicious :: 11:10 PM :: 0 comments

Speak Your Piece


Saturday, March 19, 2005

Sunset Monologue 17

Inside the Witches Coven

That's What Friends Are For!

Hmmm, why would black women get together to socialize with one another? Remember, we do nothing but be catty, backstab and try to steal each others man..or so they say. Well I beg to differ. That subset of our group is just that; a subset. Sistas get together to catchup, bond and yes I'm going cliche' Exhale.

Friday nite was that nite for me and my crew. Now we go all out and do sleepovers (insert male fantasy here). Packing is the bare essentials: Nite clothes, toiletries and whatever you are contributing to the party. We have toothbrushes etc. already out to the house, so it's just throw some clothes in a bag and hit the road.

Now the trip to my girlfriends is an adventure in itself. See here in Georgia things are just sometimes different. Distance is relative. People talk alot about Atlanta, but you must remember Atlanta to some means the ENTIRE STATE!! Atlanta is a CITY in the STATE and in reality alot of us don't even live in Atlanta, lol To drive 20-40 minutes to get to someone's house is considered "down the street". It takes me 35 minutes to get to my girlfriends house. It's a ride thru hell because she lives in a one horse town where the speed limit goes 45,35,30,45. WTH?! I know it well and can drive it perfectly (I have had an $105 speeding ticket for going 50 in the 30mph zone - which happens to be in FRONT of the police station - ouch).

Totally stressed out, I arrive at another one of my favorite Georgia jokes; the sub-division. The sub-division is a take on the Edward Sissorhands way of living, same house different color, all bundled together in a community. I still don't know WHAT it is a sub-division of, lol The trick is that every street within the sub-division is the name of the subdivision with suffixes. For instance if you live in say Creekside. Then the streets are named "Creekside Way" "Creekside Drive" "Creekside Street" - now how's that for insanity? So first I have to drive with more control than a racecar driver and then decipher a maze of same name streets (I can do the Peachtrees better) and FINALLY I arrive at my destination.

As we file in, putting our bags in oru respective sleep spots. Most of us head straight for...the kitchen to get a DRINK. Drinking is a favorite pastime at our get togethers. The drink of choice last nite Watermelon, Vodka Martini's. Do we have a recipe? Hell no! Do we care? Hell no!

Now comes the fun part - - we sit around and do absolutely NOTHING. Quite to probably alot of people's surprise; we don't spend alot of time talking about men. Hell those of us that got one don't want to jinx it and those of us that don't - why mess up a good evening? We dibble and dabble in all kind of conversation. My contribution is always about popular culture and things of the entertainment sort.

Friday nite - we sat and watched that comedy "America's Next Top Model" and booked us an all inclusive ticket to hell, as we watched that gal fall clean out on the floor. You can't buy that kinda comedy.

There's usually (based on how many drinks) musical interludes where we'll dance or sing or both. Sometimes we'll have a guest of honor. The lucky one that night: WILL SMITH. A copy of "I robot" appeared and an half hour was spent looking at the first 15 minutes - gotta LOVE Tivo!

THEN some harsh reality begins to set in - we are no longer in our twenties, lol I am usually the first to go. I am the joke at most of these gatherings because I'll just conk out sometimes mid-sentence and always in an upright position. Soon we'll all begin to think about our jobs, kids, hassles etc. and the weight of the world creeps in and only sleep will cure that madness. So we all say goodnite and basically CRASH.

So if you thought that there would be X-rated toy parties or Kama Sutra demonstrations - - sorry, maybe at some gal get togethers, but not at mine. Nevertheless, I always come home refreshed and revived after I step out the Witches Coven.

Television Guilty Pleasures

"I will NOT stop till all the Cheaters in Dallas are exposed!"

You know one of the best things about television is that you can find just about some of everything. Well my guilty pleasure is (and you know you watch) Cheaters. Lord have mercy! Based in Dallas and hosted by Joey Grieco - this show takes you on a journey among the cheating. Some poor soul feels that their 6 month relationship is just not like it used to be, so they hire cheaters to track their wayward lover and then the tape is brought back to be shown to them, usually in the middle of the nite and then courtesy of Joey - you get to go confront your cheating lover. Now if THAT is not TV at it's best; I don't know what is. You sit with anticipation as the host drags you thru the persons infidelity with words like "they obviously thought you were a sucka as evidenced in this taped conversation" and then you sit on the edge of your seat during the confrontation as they cuss and fight and if they DON'T you best believe Joey will remind you that you all need to be pissed off and someone should PAY for their skanky behavior,lol lol

Check your local listings for this show! You won't be disappointed.

Posted by Pamalicious :: 10:37 PM :: 0 comments

Speak Your Piece


Thursday, March 17, 2005

Sunset Monologue 16


Winter Wonderland and the Blackman

Courtesy of

Winter is my favorite time to go Brotha 'Sightseeing' - There is just so much to see! Even a corny brotha can redeem himself between the months of October and March, lol Some Sista like a Summertime Brotha, but there's really no room for creativity in the summer and it can get extreme (two words: NET SHIRTS), but what a feast for the eyes in the wintertime!

I'm talking CRISP fitting jeans and cable knit sweaters and brothas with skullys and matching sweaters and dark brown cords w/Tims to match. Black Leather jackets open regardless of the weather while they stroll, Flannel shirts open revealing thermal shirts, raggedy jeans and Tims. Lord Have Mercy! All kinds of hats, tipped forward/back and to the side. Adventurous Brothas who rock fur lined collars or freak it - wear fur period, lol. Nice wool business suits or couture' Sean Jean!! And then the winter scents - dark husky wood smells drifting - beards and moustaches grown out for the cold....OH and the piece de resistance - - CHAPSTICK Enough Said!

Damaged Goods

Is there such a label for a Human? Are there people walking around out here who due to life, love or whatever are just not desirable but on a short term basis if that? Have YOU lived your life in such a manner that you have created a chasm between yourself and happiness? Once damaged - can you be 'repaired'?

Things I can't figure out

  • Where the hell are all my socks?
  • Why are all my CD's scratched right on my favorite song?
  • Why when I watch something I barely watch on TV it's the ONE episode I DID watch?
  • Why do Brothas think laying pipe = Good Sex?
  • If I don't act excited to see or talk to you - you still think I am?
  • You say you don't need a man - but constantly all up in one's face
  • Why is "do you" so popular? - maybe You need a reality check about You.
  • If the world is round - why haven't we gotten back to the good ole days?

Just call me the Riddler

Do You Understand the Words Coming Out of My Mouth?!

I don't know if I should be proud about this or not - but I am a walking bag of metaphors and other lyrically inspired takes on life. I also have a wealth of just 'not important' things stored away. My Father always told me to know one line about everything and as a summer activity we had to write the dictionary from cover to cover so this bastard language called English is something I love. I like looking up a word and forcing a person to acknowledge it's meaning and NOT their interpretation.

I love the art of putting words to paper or formulating just the right set of 'life lessons' together to give my friends something to think about - funny, people have called me the Riddler but never a bullshitter..Is there a difference?

Flashback Festival

Boys II Men

Motown Philly!

Shawn, Wayna, Mike and Nathan - straight out of Phillytown and bringing it to us HEAVY for so many years. I have all of their CD's and the interesting thing for the true fan is that some of their best work was NOT what was getting mass play on the radio etc. but the little gems enclosed in each CD. Songs like: "Right on Time" or "To The Limit" or "Girl in the Life Magazine" or "Your Love" or "Trying Times" These songs endeared you to the crooners.

One of my favorite examples of how I just want to listen to them was when they guest harmonize on LL Cool J's hit "Hey Lover" they took rap love to a whole new level.

As with a lot of 'good' acts the fluff and smoke screen of the newer generation has pushed them to the side, but I still get out my Boys II Men compilation I made and rock them in my car. "Thank You"

The Mike Chronicles

Where or where do I begin? First the Fat Boys break up and now this! First the accuser is cross examined, then the porn is sent around the courtroom and now the maid is having her say in court.

Mike Godspeed Brotha!

And to top it all off the stress of this is getting to Mike as evidenced by the above picture - he's looking whiter than he usually looks. IF he comes away from this trail acquitted, if there ever was a time to reevaluate ones life - this would be it Mike. I don't understand why your classic entertainers like La Liz etc. Hadn't schooled you on the pitfalls of celebrity, but they probably did and you insisted on taking the road well traveled. Tsk Tsk Tsk.

Posted by Pamalicious :: 7:42 PM :: 0 comments

Speak Your Piece


Wednesday, March 16, 2005

Sunset Monologue 15

There's To Much Booty in the Pants!

Can she share?

ASSumptions Galore

"Mommy are you getting a booty?" Mini-me snapped me to attention! HOLD UP WAIT A MINUTE!! Call Nelly I need some Apple Bottoms, I'm bout to drop down and get my eagle ON!

Let me backtrack a bit - contrary to what the media and videos and so-called hip white women want us to think; all sistas don't have a round ample bottom. Some of us are not end tables but more shall we say coffee tablish or even airport rampish.

The Buttocks has always been a bone of contention with me and I can distinctly remember the first time I figured I was about to be in trouble: LL Cool J's "Brenda got a big ole butt" What in the world?! Where did she get THAT from? I was appalled while my Husband sat with that 'man grin' on his face.

I remember asking my Mom what happen to the booty in our family? We all look like weeble wobbles but they don't fall down - and if they do - they have no real bottom to cushion the fall, lol

I've been like alot of women at several different weights in my life time and none of them included having an arse. So for my daughter to make that comment something must be going on.

Well I stood in my bedroom, looking at the door; knowing that behind it lay the answer to her and now my question - the mirror was back there.

I swung it open and spun around and Did I not hear ANGELS sing!? Is that the Philharmonic Orchestra striking up?! I had an ASSSSSSSS!! A real live, stick out rotund ass! I twirled around in that mirror looking at my new acquisition and wondered "hmm where did this come from?" Doesn't matter - cause I want it to stay and it has been quite a nice present in my 39 year of existence.

So No I ain't no Kenya Moore or you won't ever really see my bottom in no videos, but best believe me - I got a strut in my walk all of a sudden cause I got JUNK IN MY TRUNK!!!!!!!!!!!

Dead On Contact - Dying in an IM box

Spoken communication is hard enough - so I can imagine that having to 'type' your way into a persons line of sight, can be quite difficult. I have IM'ed and talked to many a people in my lifetime. One of my signature traits is that I come across as a three-dimensional person on paper just like in person. I am alive thru the written word and my personality shines thru.

Well I give credit to the Brothas who have taken the time to master the medium and are adept at projecting themselves.

However, have you ever ran into someone on the IM, who talking to them is like watching grass grow? I type 80 wpm on a good day, so I don't require anyone to keep up with my flow, but have a flow of your own, especially if you contact me.

Sometimes it starts out just cool, but then it goes downhill and I'm sitting and waiting....and waiting.....and waiting for some sign of life. It never comes, so now I have to thank Yahoo for the Stealth settings, lol

If IM'ing is not your forte' then find one that is.

Posted by Pamalicious :: 6:06 PM :: 0 comments

Speak Your Piece


Monday, March 14, 2005

Sunset Monologue 14

Talking to Myself

It has become common practice among Black Women when it comes to speaking on relationships or lack thereof to give the catch all phrase "I'm working on self" If you ever read Essence, Ebony and other Magazines geared towards our demographic, they spend alot of time giving us timely advice on 'spending time alone' 'learning to love self' etc. (which I find odd since Cosmo etc. spends time telling a woman how to work on self WHILE getting a man, lol).

Well I'm here to declare I AM THRU WORKING ON SELF! I know myself, we've been properly introduced, we're best of friends - I'm ready to MOVE ON!

I fell for that in the beginning and at the time it was intriguing. Delve into yourself, see where you at and decide where you going, let go the pain, reconcile the past blah blah blah yacky yack yack.

I read the book, saw the movie and Tivo'ed the Television Premier of my life and I'm satisfied that my inner self and my outer self are now even and at peace - I'd like to show it off to the world now.

As women we get caught up sometimes in 'calming waters'. What I mean is that we latch on to something in order to calm the jitters we have about alot of things. As women we have alot of fears, hopes, dreams etc. and for alot of us - alot of them revolve around finding a mate. Some of us might be called 'obsessive' about it, but if we wern't who would it be to keep alive the notion that the Blackman and woman belong together. We jump head first into doing some self-discovery except we forget one thing....the entire concept is flawed.

The best way to learn about self is to hear it from someone else. We as humans have an uncanny ability to 'rationalize'. So when someone says to us "you sure were mean to him" The FIRST thing out of our mouths is a long littny of what HE has done, and we co-sign that and take it on as fact - cleverly omitting our culpability in the whole thing.

When we do get to the point of really doing some introspective work - it's painful, more painful than childbirth - but it can be done and it can be done in a short period of time - so now we have quite a few of us walking around fully capable of partaking in meaningful relationships be it with our parents, friends, children and lovers and all of it is wasted on.....ourselves, lol

DeLaSoul had a song out years ago entitled "Me/Myself and I" and Beyonce did her take on the same topic. Well me and my two counterparts have done quite a damn bit together and we'd like to spread the love, lol

I am now a work in progress - I need to progress to finish the work. I hope that more of you join me in tossing that saying "I'm working on self" in the garbage, because by now we should be steppin into the afterglow of having had self discovery and now looking forward to adding new brightly colored threads to our cloth of life.

Back Down Memory Lane

I stumbled on this photograph; it kinda made me laugh; back down memory lane. I see us standing there such a happy happy pair; love be uncompared looky there looky there; the way you held me, no one could tell me that love wouldn't last......

Minnie My Sista - you've been on my mind this evening. Such a poignant song. You know sometimes in our lives, there are places and people we'd like to revisit. I'm not the type of person who damns everyone I ever broke up with to hell. Why we gotta be all hateful cause it didn't work out? That's just so bad for my own karma, lol I like to keep my life like that merry go round piece of park equipment - we can all be on there, but at any moment I might make a sudden stop and those that are not on tightly will get thrown off, lol lol

I've had some conversation that has taken me back down Memory Lane. I want so bad to pull out the pictures and look at our happy faces smiling, loving, together - but I am afraid that when I pull them out; the pictures are fading and the one in my head no longer matches the reality of the pictures in the box. I don't want to get a new frame and place the pictures out - only to have to put them up once again. When I take them out again, I want it to be FOR GOOD! "God I want it to be for GOOD"

"B" Breaks Free

Ok, by now everyone has heard of Atlanta's Brian Nichols and his court house melee. I find it quite interesting that the first thought on many an A-T-L sista mind was that........He was Phyne! Excuse Us Lord for we have sinned, but the brotha was good lookin. He was off the CHAIN, but aiding and abieting was not far from alot of sistas minds. It just brought home the seriousness of the condition of our men and how they are coming up to the slavemasters gate and asking to be let into his 'home' for the rest of their lives, leaving us out here to fend for ourselves. Brothas - stop giving them what they want!

Feeding My TV Addiction

Well in true American Idol tradition - we have a drop out.

Vasquez OUT!

Mario Vasquez dropped out citing 'personal reasons'. Nikko has replaced him and his grinning face is a bit brighter. Tomorrow begins the first of the 'real' competition. Personally just give it to Bo Bice and call it a day. The Fans however are speculating; so Mario needs to say a bit more than what he has been saying.

Posted by Pamalicious :: 10:19 PM :: 2 comments

Speak Your Piece


Sunday, March 13, 2005

Sunshine Monologue 4

$3.95 or less - The Thrill of Thrifting

One of my many fun names is "$3.95". No,that's not the worth I've put on my head, but rather the average cost of 75% of everything I wear, lol Growing up in a big family; I learned all about how to stretch a dollar and being a single mom; you get your masters degree in said skill.

I have been 'thrifting' 'yardsaling' 'flea marketing' "consignment shopping' and 'dumpster diving' for over 20 years now. Do I have to? Probably not, I can afford to go to the mall and purchase all that it has to offer, but I choose NOT TO! The art of making someone's trash into your treasure intrigues me and I get a thrill out of it. Besides, I'm not all caught up in keeping up with the Jones - I just wait till they get tired of their stuff and make it mine, lol

Having lived in NY for a number of years; I had an opportunity to learn all about 'personal style' and I adopted that way of thinking. Several years after that I worked out mine and now here I am.

Don't think for one moment that I am alone in this passion. Now Black People have some kinda aversion to it, but my saavy white counterparts stand side by side next to me - going thru racks of clothes etc. with the same zeal as I do.

I've learned that if you want current fads go to a thrift store in the black neighborhood - we get rid of our stuff quickly; if you want classics go to a white neighborhood - they get rid of things seasonally and usually good, well kept stuff.

You also can scour the newspapers because there are 'seasons' for things. Like now, the season for flea markets, yard sales and Church Consigments for children is in full swing. Mini-Me is at that 'delicate' age of Tweenism, but that doesn't stop me or her from going after a good deal. We even have a secondhand store just for teenagers! It is always packed since they can be quite fickle about what's in this week versus what was in last week.

I acquired the name "$3.95" because it's one thing to go and just get you some mismatched items to save a buck, but it's another to develop what I call "Thrift Chic" where you can pretty much put together an entire outfit COMPLETE with shoes for under $5.00.

3/$10 All Leather All the Time

Georgia Thrift Stores are a bit expensive, so you have to look extra hard for a 'bargain'. I have an eye for what I like and when I see it - I get it. I also think 'outfit' as opposed to separates and try to leave the store with a set.

Every blue moon you come across a 'gem' like the time I was looking in a Bin of pocketbooks at the Salvation Army and came across a black bag with that little triangle that said PRADA on it. I stopped shopping and wnet and bought the bag for $3.95 - took it to my car and THEN resumed shopping, because it's not unheard of for you to turn your back on your cart and something come up missing.

Nine West and Prada Bags - $1.95 and $3.95 respectively

"Dumpster Diving" is something I don't do often, but when the opportunity arises - I partake. This is where you see something on the street, set out for trash that you have just got to have. Popular opportunites include: Moving and Eviction. I recently acquired two file cabinets and a new office chair from my moving neighbors across the street. Now my office is complete, lol

Gap, Nine West, Norma Kamli, Prada, Rocawear, BabyPhat all acquirable right at your neighborhood thrift store - if you are looking hard enough.

65 Cents A Piece! These are Anne Klein Ladies

Sometimes I think about the fact that I NEVER go to the mall or shop there with frequency. I'm just not that into clothes to begin with, and I'll vow to go - but then I think about coming out the mall with a shirt and some socks for $25 or coming out the Thrift with 4 outfits for the same amount and money left over to treat myself to lunch or dinner and I head on over to my local thrift.

So if you ever get a chance - stop by one, noone knows you and unlike me, you don't have to announce where you got it from, but I like it when someone says "Hey I got this new pair of pants on sale for $39.99" and I go "hmm, everything I wore this week totalled $39.99" and we didn't look any different, lol lol lol lol lol lol

Hammer Don't Hurt Em!

For the expanded cable subscriber; VH-1 Classic is having an all day "Yo MTV Raps" marathon. Boy I cant' wop like I used to, lol lol But I'm damn sho gonna try.

Hip Hop at it's Finest!

My Baby Daddy of the Week

When Light Skinned Was In - My child would have ROCKED the Unibrow!

Posted by Pamalicious :: 3:18 PM :: 0 comments

Speak Your Piece


Saturday, March 12, 2005

Sunset Monologue 13

It's a Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood

Do you ever just take a good look at your neighborhood and how you interact in it? Today was an absolutely BEAUTIFUL Day here in Atlanta and as typical on Saturday, I had things to do. However, due to my sleep deprived state, I was a bit dillusional and just started to really see my 'hood' and it's colors and hues.

I live on jokingly on the 'cusp' of the Hood. I like to be able to run and get me some fish, but uh Raekwon and nem can keep the BBQ's on their street, lol. Having said that, on a beautiful day like today - my people were OUT and ABOUT!

Two Sistas and A Comb

Beauty Parlor time! As is common, Saturday is a jammed pack day at the salon, so you need to carve out several HOURS before you even attempt to go. Like the cookout, the Beauty Salon and Barber Shop are African American Staples and like 'Soul Train' the "Hippest Trip In America", lol I like my salon. It's situated in a mini-mall adjacent to the strip mall. There are two sistas. "Lace" (My hair dresser) works on us professional women, little girls, more conservative types. "Leather" works on the party girl - so it is always a wonderfully colorful mix of people at the salon. I'm a believer that the Barber Shop holds more pertinent conversation because let me tell you the Beauty Shop is a main avenue for several levels of Black female BS. The conversations you hear up in there!

While I sit there under the dryer, I can't hear a thing, so my visual senses kick in and I look out at the street in front of me. Has anyone noticed how many brothas are in wheelchairs in the hood? I see several, some mobile, some using good old fashioned hand control, probably damn glad they have that - going about thier business as only brothas can do; ain't no wheelchair going to stop them. The check cashing spot is alive and well - I can hear in my mind the cash registers opening and closing with Cable, Telephone and paystubs being cashed for that 3% fee. Do for Self Brothas peddle their wares all around - Uh something just ain't right about propping a freezer up in a suv and selling meat out the back, lol and did you just go get those Krispy Kreme out the grocery and telling me they fresh?!

Like em or not - the Weave is here to stay and we have elevated it to such an artform. I love sitting there watching the short haired sista get her some long flowing curls for the party that evening, or a sista with long hair get her a short funky do in less than 2 hours with 'a stocking cap and two bundles'. Sleepy women sitting propped on the chairs from a hard night of partying - cell phone all a glitter with the latest covers and ringing like the best radio station all lend to the ambience.

We laugh loud when someone begins to dog out the women on "America's Next Top Model" and give a sista her props when, after putting on some lipstick, she gets her strut on now that her crown is done.

Several hours and a fresh crown myself - I head on out of there.

Male/Female Epiphanies

Had an understanding and connection with the Bernadette and Wesley Snipes scene in the movie "Waiting to Exhale". It always made me cry and I never knew why. Even in the Book - I would well up and tears would flow. Touch is so important to our very existence and not just sexual. You want someone to touch your cheek, hold you close, rub your back, and even if you have absolutely convinced yourself that you are 'ok' without it - at 4:00am your mind, body and soul relaxes enough to whisper in your own ear 'thank you'. If only........nevermind.


"I had a Lightening Bolt Up My Ass one Time" Thus begins wayyyy to many conversations on the net. At what point do we stop being enamoured with our sexual conquests and begin to deal with the rest of the world and what's going on? I would hope that as adults we have all experienced some wonderful encounters of the intimate kind and that as the blood is running thru us, we never lose our zest for it. It just seems that we've been internetting damn near 20 years and this still is all we got to talk about? We are beginning to sound like fools constantly talkinga bout our vaginas and penis' and all the wonderful tricks they can do; ESPECIALLY if you are over the age of 30 and Good Grief if you are over 35 - it's just SKANK. Don't get me wrong; The dialogue when done tastefully and in moderation is opening doors of communication between Brothas and Sistas, but in particular Sistas are taking it to far and being too loose and believe you me, he might be grinning perversly as you twirl on the webcam for him, but he don't want you for nothing - so try to up YOUR game and HE WILL FOLLOW!
(Getting a Nose Bleed - so I'll step down off the podium)

The Mike Chronicles

I Wanna Be Where You Are


Mike is making it VERY HARD for me to find my special place that I go when it concerns him. The drama that resulted in him showing up to court in his Pajamas,was just comical if you ask me. Here in Atlanta, they walk around in Pajama bottoms; so you can't ever say he isn't being topical, lol Now they are trying to say he is bankrupt and bring his finances into question - what does that have to do with this case? Are they moving on mentally to the Civil Suit. Jay Leno, who must have finally ran out of material now that Johnny is dead, can now start using his own Michael Jokes. Okay - I still won't be watching.

The Sound of Music

Why, since everyone I know is playing it non-stop and it's getting heavy rotation on black radio do we not see Fantasia more? Give me a break! Where are her new videos and what not. American Idol - tsk tsk tsk.

Right now here is what I am bumping NON-STOP:

Get Right - J LO
1 Thing - Amerie
Caught Up - Usher ( my loyalty to Mike makes this uncomfortable for me, lol)
Boulevard of Dreams - Green Day
Free Yourself - Fantasia (this is now a Pam CLASSIC)
She Will Be Loved - Maroon 5
This Love - Maroon 5
Daughters - John Mayer
Since You Been Gone - Kelly Clarkston
My Happy Ending - Avril Lavigne

Posted by Pamalicious :: 10:09 PM :: 0 comments

Speak Your Piece


Wednesday, March 09, 2005

Sunset Monologue 12

Black Brother Strong Brother There is No one above yah!


Today I had two different people tell me that I might not be keeping it real because I am not 'bashing' brothers; surprisingly they WERE Brothas! I thought about that on the way home and after writing it off as yet another reason why people should get to KNOW me - I decided to give some clarification. I DON'T BASH BLACKMEN That's not my vibe. The playing field is even on nonsense - so to bash him is to bash myself. I talk truthfully and from my heart about trying to deal with my God Given mate. Even though I'm currently QUITE disappointed, there is not without a shadow of a doubt another man for me!

Shit, the essence of you fathered the entire fucking PLANET;

Every other man on this planet wants to be like you;

You've taken me thru every human emotion sometimes in one day;

That same way you make me tremble with rage - you make me tremble with pleasure;

You've died for me;

You've killed for me;

You've stuck with me when I've made you feel so low, you don't even damn know why;

You gave me my baby;

Everything about you intrigues me;

So please believe me, You're the ONLY MAN for me and I always have a smile for you & respect and admiration for all that you do to survive out here in this world.

I respect the people that are all world encompassing and see no race and color - but I can't see and don't want to be with anyone but Y-O-U.

So let's not get it twisted! Ya'll working my LAST NERVE right now, lol but DAYUM! I love ya'll to death (even if you don't know how sometimes to love me back)

So from me to you - I love ya'll Brothers!

Posted by Pamalicious :: 7:35 PM :: 2 comments

Speak Your Piece


Tuesday, March 08, 2005

Sunset Monologue 11


User Name, Location, Height, Age, Children, Describe who you are?, Describe what you want?, You have 3 messages, you have 6 flirts, Sign Up Now, Single Woman Seeking Single Man - - -

I woke up in a cold sweat this morning! Blackplanet, Blackvoices, Blackpeoplemeet, Yahoo Personals they are calling me!

Internet Dating sites - I went cold turkey and almost had a relapse, lol I can admit, I was slightly addicted to them. It was just so easy to 'meet' someone. To sit and chatter all day at work with various brothas about various things. I have met some really cool people.

I am the type of sista that probably needs to back into a situation because one of my plus' IS my wit and whatnot and to talk to me is to love me, lol lol So being a conversationalist - I feed off of that contact.

Now the whole dating thing is another story. There is definitely some intrigue to meeting someone you met on-line. That whole, are they who they say they are? Will the great conversation transfer when we are sitting across from one another, that moment when a person becomes three-dimensional instead of a face on a picture. Is all exciting, but can become tedious.

I know I'm not the only one because if I were to go back today the SAME PEOPLE are on there, so rule number one is: NO ONE IS LOOKING FOR SERIOUS! LOL LOL So stop lying, now if it happens cool - but you ain't looking.

I can remember sometimes being out on a date and by the time I get home, he's back on the site checking his mail. The feeling of loggin on and waiting to see just how many people were moved by your looks (cause no matter how witty you are - they are skimming, lol) to say something to you. Ladies if you are ever feeling down, go put up a page - you're 'new meat' and more men will try to hit on you than you ever imagine.

As I spent time on some of these sites, you find out that alot of the problems that women so-call have, men have them too. They are concerned when they don't get hits because of their looks, they are concerned about the aggressiveness of some women, alot of them are appalled at the overt sexuality that some women display. They hate on the pretty brothers and sometimes just sometimes they are attracted to you.

Then you run into people who are on EVERY site - there is something disconcerting about that.

At the beginning of the year, a couple of things happen that let me know it was time to bow out gracefully:

**Someone hacked into my account and sent out fake notes from me - I got disgusted with the notion that NOW I was popular with some people I had contacted earlier who had ignored me,

**I saw the downgrade in morality of a couple of brothas from upstanding (or seemingly) brothas to just straight internet whores,

**I had acted 'unbecoming' of an internet dater and let my heart do some talking when it should have just shut up!

So I got out the game, but now I'm bored, I miss the interaction and what not, but it's such an empty 'high' in the long run - that I want to stay away..I need to stay away...I wonder what a new screen name for me should be? God Grant Me the Serenity.....

Is it just me..

Or is all the hooplah in the black community, The church Bus Trips, The accolades, The "second coming of black film" really just about fawning over an effeminate man in drag? -- personally I prefer RuPaul, lol You Betta WORK!

The Mike Chronicles

Is that a crimping iron Jermaine uses?

So, one of the problems with relying on child testimony is that it's so unpredictable. Seems as if the accusers Brother got eating alive during cross examination and lo and behold He was telling a Fib! It seems that ole Mike's case is shaping up quite nicely. Now my quandary is Mike may very well get off, the trial is looking interesting, but we all KNOW Mike got some issues - so if he does get off - how do you reconcile that Mike probably did something inappropriate but once again just got off? Questions, Question.

Snap! Snap! Snap!


The brown extended as far as the eyes could see. Heavenly chocolate swirling in my consciousness, dripping from chiseled chasm, created by God

The Strength causes you to buckle under it's weight. Rippling like spring sheets on taunt lines blowing in the wind, created by God

The intelligence boggles the mind, twisting it into knots of confusion only to unwind, stretching gracefully like the back of a jaguar, created by God,

The beauty of the image was emblazon across the sky, a rainbow for the world to see; He was created by God...He WAS God.

Posted by Pamalicious :: 8:43 PM :: 2 comments

Speak Your Piece


Monday, March 07, 2005

Sunset Monologue 10

And A Child Shall Lead

Is the word you're looking for....Spinster?

"So Mom, will you never remarry? What is the holdup? I really would like to have a Father? Is it that you can't find anyone to marry you?"

And thus began the reason why parents drink. Mini-Me has been socking it to me lately and this has been a part of the one, two punch.

A quick little prequel. I am a widow, her father was murdered in a home invasion 10 years ago in the lovely state of NJ when she was 6 months old - after 10 years of marriage, so her 'need' for a Father is legitimate and understood and unfortunately not uncommon. As any parent would know, if I could I would give body parts to have her Father back, but he is gone. So we have to deal with what God has bestowed upon us and keep on keeping on.

How do you explain to your child the in's and out's of the whole process? There is no explanation - you can't tell your child "Well I slept with him and the stopped calling" or "He acted like he was interested but then he went with my girlfriend" or "Honey I just went out to Visions looking for you a Father" these are not realistic stories to calm a child, lol We can't go to the Walmart and pick up, toilet paper, a bag of 100 chicken nuggets and oh let me go on aisle three and get me a 6 foot, afrocentric, gainfully employed, sane, Blackman....(maybe I should consider a new career?)

I hemmed and hawed and tap danced around this statement, because I didn't have an age appropriate answer..I date when I date, nothing I can really do about the mindscape of the dating world when it comes to settling down. I can only look her in the eye and say...

"If God deems that we get a Husband and Father then so be it, in the meantime, let's watch American Idol"

Go to Hell

Is it wrong to tell a child that if someone tells her because her beliefs are different that she's going to hell - that she should tell them "Well save me a seat?"

Let a Sista Know if you enjoy the Blog

Yes this is a shameless plug for feedback! I'd like to thank everyone that is reading for whatever reason you're reading. I'm quite enjoying the task of coming up with something topical and stimulating on a daily basis - it's making me look at my surroundings differently.

So let a sista know if you're enjoying. You can fill out the poll to the left OR you can click on the comments at the end of each entry (with the little pencil) and let me know.

I know alot of Brothas that I have met in passing are probably checking in - you can say hello, lol lol

Is Yahoo Messenger becoming Extinct?

There was a time when I used to spend HOURS on the Instant Messenger. There were chats, everyone had messages by their names, you had to go thru and clean up your messengers because people were just adding people....Well it's ghost town now. Either because jobs have banned them (due to the open portals for virus') or the thrill is just gone.

I keep mine on anyway, because sometimes people pop in to say hello. I'm sure that half the people I have deleted have not deleted me and it is a pleasant surprise when someone comes out the woodwork.

I wonder what the next great communicator is going to be, because it sho ain't gonna be something tangible like....IN PERSON, lol

My Baby Daddy of the Week

Judge Mathis - May I approach the Bench?

Posted by Pamalicious :: 10:47 PM :: 1 comments

Speak Your Piece


Sunday, March 06, 2005

Sunset Monologue 9

The Call of the Wild Calling Me

I was sitting here this afternoon and felt the need to be with my people. I knew just where to find them, lol So I packed up mini-me and went to fratnize. Anytime after 4pm on a Sunday you can find my people at three places: Golden Corral, Old Country Buffet or Ryans - the all you can eat buffet. A place where you can test the law of averages and put to the test if you really can eat yourself to death.

We pulled up and strolled in and I had to smile; here we are! All gussied up from Sunday Services and Hungry! You gotta love Black people because we are tribish. We like being around each other for the most part - especially when it comes to breaking bread. We'll stand in this long line with Uncle Jerome and Grandma Hattie -getting our sweet tea and Fruit Punch all day long - cause this is what we like to do - break bread with our fellow bretheren.

I like to people watch so I was in heaven. The Elders all decked out in their Sunday best, Sista my age looking like their feet hurt and sistas and brothas younger than me - children hanging from hips and arms, and the kids dozens of them, eagerly awaiting their plate of fried chicken legs, mac and cheese and a veggie which they slide around and around hoping it would just disappear because at the buffet momma lets me go get my own icecream.

Our waiter looked just like Kobe Bryant and my mind drifted as he sat the honey butter on the table to that skank who said she just put her leg on the footstool and pulled her skirt up; If I had been in that room...would I have let him

Snapping out of that, I wondered what would make a mother come out the house dressed to the nines while her child looks like he came out the five and dime. Black skin needs moisture - use some vaseline. All you can eat can be broken down into multiple plates you know, How many starving Biafrans would love to have what is left on that plate of the person whose 'eyes are bigger than their stomach'.

All this entertainment for $17.01 You can't beat that! I will have to get back soon.

Their Eyes Were Watching God

Thank GOD! It wasn't as difficult to decipher as the book, lol

It was shot beautifully and the story was rich and full like ripe ripe tomatoes, you sink your teeth into the skin and the juice just runs down your chin.

I was moved, not to tears, but moved as a 38 year old woman looking at "what do I need with that young fool" turn into something life affirming. Only one other movie moved me like that and it was "Disappearing Acts".

Halle Berry was RADIANT! However - to me she is two dimensional. We get the Losing Isiah and Jungle Fever Halle and then we get the Wedding Story and Their Eyes Were Watching God Halle. She and Oprah just work well together.

I think I'm gonna think like Teacake thought of Janie - the first part of her life she was living the old part so that when she met him she was living her youth - that's what I'm gonna give the man that will be mine - my youth - cause right now - I'm living the old part!

Posted by Pamalicious :: 11:36 PM :: 3 comments

Speak Your Piece


Saturday, March 05, 2005

Sunset Monologue 8

Mr. Boone do you have cows on your farm?

hmmmmm, as I sit here in my PJ bottoms with the little red flowers, sipping Boonesfarm Sangria out a juice glass with crushed ice no less (if you gonna be ghetto be the BEST!)- and it being Saturday nite; I can't fanthom instructing my brain to become analytical - so I'll just be fodderish (is THAT a word?!) and spill random thoughts from a random thought process, helped along by Brother Boone.

An epiphany

GEMINI (May 21-June20) Events in the coming week may be difficult for some of you to deal with. They will include intense encounters with peace,love,joy and understanding, as well as possible brushes with extravagant beauty, lyrical delight and inspiring discoveries. There will be a dearth of storylines that feature betrayal, abuse, pettiness, greed, extortion, disease and explosions. Therefore, Gemini, you should proceed with extreme caution if you're a jaded hipster who's suspicious of feeling really good. Ask yourself: "Am I ready to stop equating cynicism with insight? Do I dare take the risk that exposing myself to uplifting encounters might dull my intelligence?" If you doubt your abilitty to handle all the relaxing breakthroughs, you'd better take strong measures to evade them.

I think that I'll just keep this horoscope all year. Can you believe in addition to being a Gemini - I'm also left handed tsk tsk tsk

Do I know you? or Stop getting in my head!
"We're certainly not trendsetters. We're a poser. We're so diverse ethnicity and country values that I don't see a good medium between them. We only replicate what's going on in Hollywood and New york. We lack originality, museums, public transporation and we don't even recycle. We're not fashion savvy. Nobody wears baby doll dresses or buys Louis vuitton purses like they do in Atlanta. We'rea bout a year behind the rest of the world. - - Kevin in answer to Creative Loafing's question "Is Atlanta a hip U.S. Town?"

Friends - how many of us have them?

Well "Janet" had to make a jaunt this weekend to visit Tito; so we are communicating via Cell phone.

I hung out with another one of my good friends "Regine" the wig illusionist. It was her birthday and so I treated her to lunch. We hadn't seen each other in awhile and it was a nice nice time. I met "Regine" strangely on a jobs interoffice message board, lol She sat basically right up under me and because we both type hella fast (me at 80wpm on a good day) we burned up the Lotus Notes program with our messages. I was just starting addiction to internet dating sites (which I am not in treatment and remission) and she had scored the ultimate a husband - so of course that made a match in heaven, lol "Regine" is good people and can work teh HELL out a wig - look out for her and fellas - you can get that other woman right out of the one you currently got with a well secured wig, lol

I had a pleasant surprise when I answered my Metro PCS(PieCeaShit) - a loud booming voice was screaming my name like we had been picked for the price is right! "Theatrical Flourish" was in town. I am ready for my closeup Mr. Deville. He is an old and dear friend of mine and the family. I met him when I was 15 and he has encouraged and goaded me to write this entire time. He also taught me the art of the party and my memories of riding his back at the best gay parties in Philly are forever etched in my mind. So I hurriedly printed out my Blog and went to see him. We sat on the floor and talked shop and it was a good time. I'm sure he'll be reading and is waiting on me to go ahead and do my thang.

Men can Exhale Too

Well I spoke to "Africa" and I have to say, that sometimes you just have to take the reason God puts someone in your life and feel blessed that He thought enough of you to even do that. I say that because there is a light that now shines on that continent after I went exploring that didn't exist before. I see a whole piece of undeveloped land, suddenly coming alive with workers - building, bridging, welcoming. I feel good that my appearance and my spirit and my being helped this. Life comes from water and all you need is one drop and I provided that for him and now he is seeing life. Hey sometimes it ain't about me.

"Mo Betta" mentioned that we should meet on neutral ground like Cancun earlier this week. We haven't seen each other in three years so I was down with it - and with it being a birthday present to me. Well of course "Mo Betta" didn't answer that email. Being Cheap is just not classy. It would be well worth his while and he knows that he'll be treating one classy broad - so dig under the mattress, take you some little blue pills to calm the intense feeling of anxiety associated with spending money on a female and let's do the damn thing!

"Italy" is going to scout out the Greek Isles and I gave him a map to find his way back home. He was most appreciative and promises that the star will certainly lead him to the promise land.

Feeding My TV Addiction

Black Love - hurts so good!

Sunday, March 6th Oprah will be bringing "Their Eyes Were Watching God" by Zora Neal Hurston to ABC. Starring Halle Berry. It should be pretty good. she is looking FABULOUS with that long hair!

Tonite, Kimberly won on "Wickedly Perfect" and just to see Mitch NOT win, was worth it, lol

Just in time for spring break "Lil Pimp" starring Bernie Mac hits the stores.

Just in time for the Spring/Summer Love Season renowned Author Shahrazad Ali will be on Star and Buc Wild on Tuesday, March 8th and Thursday, March 10th at Power 105.1 in NY (can be heard on Power 99 in Philly, Power 104.1 in Hartford, CT and Power 107 in Augusta, GA) Everytime you go toa black bookstore and pick up a black book - thank that sista!

Posted by Pamalicious :: 10:43 PM :: 0 comments

Speak Your Piece


Friday, March 04, 2005

Sunset Monologue 7

The GOOD Girl

Main Entry: good ;Pronunciation: 'gud; Function: adjective

How could something that sounds so wonderful - end up being so bad?! In my adult life I've relied on and perpetuated two traits that had great appeal to me: being cute (cause fine is fleeting) and being a 'good' girl. In looking at the definition, not only does it for the most part, describe me, but that should be something all people aspire to be..Right? Well at 8,18,and 28 this was quite amusing, but at 38 - this has become a hindrance. It has become a 'label' that on certain levels haunts me. I am the woman in the glass case. Time and time again, I have heard from potential 'mates' "you are such a good girl" "you are wifey material and I'm not ready for that yet" "I don't know how to deal with you" Now I'm sure by now you are wondering 'what kinda men does she meet?' but let me tell you - these are educated, God fearing, gainfully employed, straight up blackmen.

Someone might be happy to be put up on a pedestal, but it is lonely up on that thing, lol I can't have a successful 'casual' relationship because most brothers have this 'guilt' that I deserve better THEN I can't have a relationship because the assumption is that it HAS to lead to Marriage.

I am in no way implying that I am this perfect specimen of woman or anything like that which is the POINT. I am learning the power of "labels" - can a sista get a chance? Can you stick around long enough to find out what being a 'good' girl is all about all sides of her? the good, bad and ugly? Or at minimum could you stop saying that's what you want from a woman and then I am consistently laying on cold sheets...alone

Snap! Snap! Snap!


I lay in the dark, eyes closed..Silent, remembering, reliving the moment..

Dangling between my utopia and my reality

The door opens,
I'm dizzy, I feel weak, gotta sit down,
I'm alive, he's alive, I'm aglow...He's my fire

TOUCH ME!! I scream behind the small talk and laughter,
I'm' scared of my wanton desire for my fire,
burn me baby, engulf me in your flames

Ooooooo - the heat!
I can't get naked enough...
I want to be nude..My clothes...My jewelry...My skin -- take it off

Would you like to see my soul?

A scream in my throat, vibrating down his firm manhood,
My name spilling from the place where only I take him.

He savors the moment - - The chatter of ecstasy escapes his mouth,

The one enveloping my..

Breast, stomach, thighs.....does he need a napkin?

Burnt orange toenail polish dancing around his head like the sunset,
On the brink of letting go, but it's so hard to do,

Aaah, was the best

When my thinking returns: I'll say it
When the paralysis is over: I'll dance it

I lay in the dark, eyes closed..Silent, remembering, reliving the moment

Dangling between my utopia and reality


Posted by Pamalicious :: 10:23 PM :: 0 comments

Speak Your Piece