Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Sunshine Monologue 196




And this morning I decided to mess up my entire day by....

Stepping On The Scale!

WHAT




IN



THE



HELL!



I should NOT have done that shit! Now I am going to have to really focus to get my beauty mojo back. Anyone who has weight issues, whether they are in denial or not, knows that sometimes it all comes crashing down on you and you just can't bear to look at what you have done. Cause yep it's you that's done it. It is a constant struggle to maintain your self esteem and no one can give that to you. I have got to and need to do better.

You can't win for freaking losing - first the weight was, you know, a bit of depression, and a companion through the lean times NOW it's because I'm freaking Happy!!! I be damn!

It's such a complex subject because I don't look bad (now let's not trip, lol) due to heredity my skin is tight and I don't have any sagging or anything and visually I actually don't ever look like my weight - HOWEVER, I know my freaking weight.

I'm afraid to really reach out to CAUN cause he's gonna have me running through Decatur with a whip on my ass (which might be kinda fun, but I digress). It's nice to know someone loves you regardless - but, again, I need to do better - so that I can be around to be loved regardless.

So now I must work on getting the UMPH back up and at em - cause I looked FABULOUS in my B'day dress and I don't want me feeling down about my appearance cause I'm a really HOT forty year old Momma! OH YES I AM!!
Posted by Pamalicious :: 7:50 AM :: 0 comments

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