ThE EmAnCiPaTiOn oF pAmMiE

Sunday, June 12, 2005

Sunset Monologue 46

Personality 101

So do you work on your personality? As I've matured both psychologically and chronologically, I have mellowed out quite a bit. I used to have a different personality for certain 'sets' of people. I've grown to learn more about each aspect of myself and merged them. I am comfortable with who I am (well a lot MORE comfortable) and so I am even keeled most of the time. In the Myers-Briggs test I was a "yellow" and I have actually tried to embrace that about myself. People on the outside used to have this wonderful view of my personality and I barely could see it - but now I do see it and I enjoy being a "Ray of Sunshine" I've adopted that entire attitude and I hope that it sticks.

I can fret a lot. It's a character flaw of mine. Fret is defined as "verb: worry unnecessarily or excessively; verb: be agitated or irritated; noun: agitation resulting from active worry. I have tackled this flaw endlessly and I have it under much better control. Part of what I learned about it was to stop letting others dictate my emotional state - I'm in charge of that. Regardless if it's family, friends, co-workers etc. etc. I am the keeper of my own sanity and I shouldn't put it on the chopping block. Another thing I discovered is that time is written in advance and we just follow the script - sure we can add a prop here and there, but for the most part - it's not up to us. Especially if you believe in a higher power. So to fret about it is to not trust that Higher power. One last thing is that it is fine to walk away from that which causes you to fret. For instance the online dating site had me fretting the other day, which means that's my sign to walk away from it. I have identified the ingredients for fretting - now I need to make sure I'm not mixing them on purpose.

The Joys of Mini-Me

Mini-Me playing w/my makeup

As you know, Mini-me is 11. What a wondrous time? She's non-stop I tell yah! As a parent you go thru so many emotions when it comes to your child but underlying you should be having a love affair with that child. It crossed my mind that she will be gone from me for 4 1/2 weeks. That's the longest I have not been able to look my child in the face. This will definitely be an experience for us. I am a mixed bag of emotions because (1) I'm going to miss her aura in the house and (2) yet I'm oddly giddy at the notion of hanging up my hands on parenting cap for that long. Is this what it feels like to begin the journey of the bird leaving the nest? Speaking of Birds......

My New Roommates

Birdie outside my window

I woke up to the screeching of babies and was like WTF?! I was having my dream about my car being repossessed again and so this was NOT a good morning to be awaken in chaos. I pulled opened the blinds and lo and behold - I had some roommates. A small bird had built it's nest in my crooked screen. The little babies were screaming to be fed. The mother was going back and forth getting them something and then they quieted down. Now I could have moved them, but they aren't bothering anyone and so I let them stay and they now are just my new alarm clock, lol

Still Cooking!

Chicken Anyone?

Man the rain is truly dampening my spirits, but God smiled today and the sun came out over Decatur! Which meant one thing - BBQ!!!! I wanted to get one more in before Mini-me left - so I threw some chicken and some salmon on the grill, made some collards and Caribbean rice and there was a meal. I love bbq! Next up I gotta do some ribs.

Dateless in Atlanta

Well I've made an analogy out of it now. There's an opening and people are sending in their resumes applying for my time and affection, lol lol (Hey if you don't add some humor to this bullshit - you'll never get out the bed) So you know how it goes, as you wind down, that's when it gets crunk. I'm just flowing with it all, because it ain't nothing but PHONE CONVERSATION (Thanks Metro of the unlimited). I've just made me a composite gallery of Atlanta's finest and that certainly keeps my blood flowing, lol The applicants come and go - maybe a seed was planted maybe not - I love talking so it's been great just conversing with a couple of brothas (not spreading myself thin) and just learning about what if anything is making them tick.

I will say that no longer will I accept the conversation about sistas having 'issues' because it's now even. I've met hermits, workaholics, baggage handlers (as in emotional), cheaters, pimps, skanks, old playas and the list goes on, lol So for every Gold Digger there is now a counterpart, for every bitter sista meet MR. BITTER! Shift the shovel because the bullshit has become loose and fluid and there's enough to go around. I just talk, giggle, laugh, throw a joke or two and hang up the phone. If it caught you, you'll be back - if it didn't - oh well.

Posted by Pamalicious :: 9:17 PM :: 0 comments

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