Tuesday, May 17, 2005

Sunset Monologue 38

The Count Down Edition

Peace to everyone! I have really been trying to exercise my right to stay off the computer lately and just be around in the real world; until I came to the realization that in 2005 this is as much a part of the real world as me sitting on my porch reading, lol However, I've learned that I need to let things populate and marinate my being so that I can post on the blog.

Tonite I was thinking in the car on the way home (since I STILL am without music) that I am 'counting' towards a couple of things...

.....TWO days till Mini Me leaves Elementary School - Why does it seem like she's getting taller daily - are my eyes deceiving me?

.....FOUR days till New Edition at Chastain Park - I am soo looking forward to this!! Brian Mcknight and Gerald Levert as well! About six to eight of us are going and sitting out with close friends and bottles of wine is going to be fun!

.....FIVE days till I'm thru with this round of on-line - tsk tsk tsk, hopefully I made some good penpals. I really realized that I was enjoying the 'naturalness' of just being out here in the world, where my total essence can shine as opposed to being one-dimensional as such on a page. I have enjoyed approaching brothas from different sides of me and seeing what if any the reaction is. I have planted some seeds and maybe one will grow, but it's time to give it a rest. I won't delete my page, because I don't foresee any recreations - but I definately am phasing out.

.....NINETEEN days till I'm 39 - I think I'll be partying at BellBottoms for this auspicious occasion. Well I partied there last year, why mess with perfection, lol I have to note that this is the wha....I've lost count birthday where I don't have a date for the festivities. I have GOT to work on that! It's one thing to not have a date for others but not even for myself?! I am really trying to figure out how you keep like 'people' on hand in your life. Maybe it's due to having dealings with alot of brothas and since I never really have that - I'm usually ass-out on the casual brotha I can call to attend things with me. Another thing to ponder.

.....THIRTY NINE days till The Road Trip - This is shaping up to be OFF THA CHAIN!! We almost have our money up and I am still working out details but this drive up the Northeast is going to be GREAT!! I can't wait. It's not even about spending money, but just hanging with my best friend and being in the big ities. Of course I will report back with a blow by blow. As previously mentioned, we will be going to Philly/NJ/NY. Spending the nite in NY is mandatory and "Africa" (haven't heard his moniker in awhile) promised us a dinner; THAT should be interesting.

.....FOURTY FOUR days till I'm in the ATL alone for five weeks! - That surely is a first. I've never really had extended amount of time left to my own devices, lol lol This should be interesting to say the least; five weeks with mini-me 800+ miles away. I know that by the time I hit my stride and people realize I can leave work and hang out, I can stay up obscenely late & still go to work, I can date on the drop of a dime, I can meet for drinks on a say Thursday; she'll be coming home, lol lol - ahh the possibilities.

And Finally...

.....THREE HUNDRED AND EIGHTY FOUR days till I turn 40! - I just KNOW this is going to be a great countdown!

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Emotional Triggers

As we move about in the world, we are the conglomeration of all kinds of ideas, thoughts, activities, beliefs etc. etc. the basis of these are given to us by our parents, then enters society and admist all of that is our own ability for thought. What a mix!

Well as we experience life and all it has to offer, we develop 'issues' whether we want to or not. Show me someone without issues and I'll show you a dead person! Hell, even a baby has 'issues': Who is gonna feed me?, Who is gonna pick me up?, It's cold, it's hot, I'm wet...shall I go on?

Part of our make-up are what I term 'trigger' words. In our vast memory we associate 'tabs' of sorts as we file each thing away. They are a quick way to go in the file cabinet of our short term memory or our bigger more indepth vault of our long term memory and find things - whether we want to or not.

For instance if we get a 'feeling' about love - we can pull all the files where we felt this. Well unfortunately just as happy as we are to pull all the good things, all the bad things get a tab as well.

This is where the problem comes in, if you are not adept at the realization that this was a bad point for you - these 'triggers' can cause you great stress and strife. The mere mention of these words can make you experience the pain all over again and you end up lashing out at the memory and taking others down in your wake.

I think the first step is to identify what your 'triggers' are openly and honestly associate the 'issue' with them. Claiming them, allows you to not be ruled by them, thus not continuously carry them from life event to life event.

Now the other tricky thing is that sometimes people use your 'triggers' against you because human nature dictates that we press buttons, lol Sometimes it's innocent but sometimes.....

So do I know what my triggers are? Most of them but of course I'm not telling you! If you have 'triggers' embrace them, mark up that folder and then when you hear or read or experience the 'trigger' and that file drawer flies open. You have an arm out already to catch and slam it shut!!
Posted by Pamalicious :: 7:53 PM :: 0 comments

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