ThE EmAnCiPaTiOn oF pAmMiE

Monday, March 28, 2005

Sunset Monologue 22

A Cluttered Mind

As with alot of creative, lefthanded, gemini types - Today has been a day for incomplete sentences, lol My mind has been all over the place and quieting it has been unsuccessful. During these times my diary is ineffective but HERE can be a goldmind. So I've cut on Yahoo Music Launch to the Quiet Storm and now I'm going to empty my head of most of what is swirling around - -

Wait Till You See My...

I no longer have to wait because it's become quite popular for my brothas to show their stuff wayyyyy before you ever meet them. Now the "Pros" that's what they do, but what is possessing 'Jamol' to expose himself to the world? No I'm not a prude, but I'm a sensual/analytical person and immediately when I'm presented with a man's privates I think first 'So you've been reduced to selling yourself by your genitals' and then 'So tell me again what I have to look forward to?' Is this a validation of the 'rumor' or a 'statement' about the appeal, I don't know because I'll admit 9 times out of 10, my mouth waters just a bit at the visual, but I still think - how do you now go about clothing an individual? I mean sometimes you don't even see their face - so now they just become a part of Ken we wished he had come equipped with in all of our Barbie Play, lol

Part of the sheer pleasure is the 'unrobing' process and that glazed watery look you get the first time 'Johnson' is revealed, if I've already seen it (1) I've morphed it to magical proportions and (2) I'm setting myself up to be disappointed - so sure it's your right to present yourself the way you see fit - but I still enjoy unwrapping the package, because as we know - trying to rewrap something is hard as hell!


Why would a person send a phone number on an internet site sans ANY conversation? Just toss it to the wind. Call Me xxx-xxx-xxxx... ok ringgggggg Hi May I speak to Mrdouright? LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL

Preferences - check all that apply

So many times people try to make other people feel guilty about their preferences, particularly when it comes to a potential mate and especially when it comes to the physical. I think the cruelest trick God ever played on man was having him desire a certain person but making sure there was no guarantee that desire was desiring you. I made peace awhile ago with the fact that everything that I like is NOT going to like me, but maybe 3 out of 10 will and I am going to make sure I'm ready for them, lol lol

My preferences like alot of people have morphed over the years. I am a child of the 80's so I wanted 'him' to be as lightskinned, curly haired and thin as humanly possible - the closer to El Debarge the better. I chased that for a number of years and even married it, lol Then one day (and I'll never forget) a girlfriend suggested - during a dating slump - that I give a thicker brotha a try, she said I would appreciate the extra weight. Around that time Wesley Snipes and darker brothas were being recognized in the media and against my skin, the darker color looked esquisite. I was still hesitant because the look I was going for was one who stayed in the gym and I would be sitting in the car WAITING on him to finish, lol But by chance I actually met someone that fit the bill (MoBetta to be exact) and the REST IS HISTORY!! Oooo Weeee was THAT to my liking (skin color as evidenced by all of my Baby Daddies of the Week) - so now 10 years into dating, my preference is a brotha of a darker hue, about 6 feet, muscular but not obsessive, with that swagger that makes me wanna follow.

Are they always attracted to me? Nope, but that's all part of it - we all are attracted to people who may or may not even notice we are alive, but the challenge is to (1) find that one that is and (2) see how many of your preferences are really just that preferences or dellusions, lol

Becky and Shanana Sitting In A Tree

W-O-R-K-I-N-G. Ahh the workplace, a Lord of the Flies like existence (the other example of this is internet chat/discussion groups) where Becky and Shanana work side by side, but never really together. Why is Becky always afraid of Shanana? Is it because she gets offended when you go psssst to get her attention? or you speak as if she's not around? or she looks you right in the eye when you speak to her, but her face is expresionless? Becky gets sooo upset when she can't 'read' Shanana because then she can't gauge if she's using her diversity training to the hilt.

Becky is young, fresh out of school and on the fast track. Shanana is in her 30's, a couple of kids and been at her job for years. Shanana can 'see' the Beckys coming in and getting promoted, but Shanana's feet, heart, and spirit are all tired so just give her the check and back the fuck up!

In the cafe Shanana and her friends sit together at a table not to far from Becky and her friends. Some of the conversation is the same, but most of it is different. Becky wonders how Shanana vibes and bonds so easily, is must not be true what they say about Shanana and her interpersonal relationships with other Shanana's. So why does Shanana look ever so bored when Becky is telling her all about her weekend at the lodge?

Becky see's Shanana talking to Raekwon and tries not to look because though Raekwon is quite handsome - the force field Shanana has put around him prevents her from even imagining. She'll just have to wait and see if like alot of Raekwons there's a Biff waiting to get out....

Shanana and Becky sitting in a tree...W-O-R-K-I-N-G

Posted by Pamalicious :: 10:44 PM :: 0 comments

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