Monday, March 14, 2005
Sunset Monologue 14
Talking to Myself
It has become common practice among Black Women when it comes to speaking on relationships or lack thereof to give the catch all phrase "I'm working on self" If you ever read Essence
and other Magazines geared towards our demographic, they spend alot of time giving us timely advice on 'spending time alone' 'learning to love self' etc. (which I find odd since Cosmo etc. spends time telling a woman how to work on self WHILE getting a man, lol).
Well I'm here to declare I AM THRU WORKING ON SELF!
I know myself, we've been properly introduced, we're best of friends - I'm ready to MOVE ON!
I fell for that in the beginning and at the time it was intriguing. Delve into yourself, see where you at and decide where you going, let go the pain, reconcile the past blah blah blah yacky yack yack.
I read the book, saw the movie and Tivo'ed the Television Premier of my life and I'm satisfied that my inner self and my outer self are now even and at peace - I'd like to show it off to the world now.
As women we get caught up sometimes in 'calming waters'. What I mean is that we latch on to something in order to calm the jitters we have about alot of things. As women we have alot of fears, hopes, dreams etc. and for alot of us - alot of them revolve around finding a mate. Some of us might be called 'obsessive' about it, but if we wern't who would it be to keep alive the notion that the Blackman and woman belong together. We jump head first into doing some self-discovery except we forget one thing....the entire concept is flawed.
The best way to learn about self is to hear it from someone else. We as humans have an uncanny ability to 'rationalize'. So when someone says to us "you sure were mean to him" The FIRST thing out of our mouths is a long littny of what HE has done, and we co-sign that and take it on as fact - cleverly omitting our culpability in the whole thing.
When we do get to the point of really doing some introspective work - it's painful, more painful than childbirth - but it can be done and it can be done in a short period of time - so now we have quite a few of us walking around fully capable of partaking in meaningful relationships be it with our parents, friends, children and lovers and all of it is wasted on.....ourselves, lol
DeLaSoul had a song out years ago entitled "Me/Myself and I" and Beyonce did her take on the same topic. Well me and my two counterparts have done quite a damn bit together and we'd like to spread the love, lol
I am now a work in progress - I need to progress to finish the work. I hope that more of you join me in tossing that saying "I'm working on self" in the garbage, because by now we should be steppin into the afterglow of having had self discovery and now looking forward to adding new brightly colored threads to our cloth of life.
Back Down Memory Lane I stumbled on this photograph; it kinda made me laugh; back down memory lane. I see us standing there such a happy happy pair; love be uncompared looky there looky there; the way you held me, no one could tell me that love wouldn't last......
Minnie My Sista - you've been on my mind this evening. Such a poignant song. You know sometimes in our lives, there are places and people we'd like to revisit. I'm not the type of person who damns everyone I ever broke up with to hell. Why we gotta be all hateful cause it didn't work out? That's just so bad for my own karma, lol I like to keep my life like that merry go round piece of park equipment - we can all be on there, but at any moment I might make a sudden stop and those that are not on tightly will get thrown off, lol lol
I've had some conversation that has taken me back down Memory Lane. I want so bad to pull out the pictures and look at our happy faces smiling, loving, together - but I am afraid that when I pull them out; the pictures are fading and the one in my head no longer matches the reality of the pictures in the box. I don't want to get a new frame and place the pictures out - only to have to put them up once again. When I take them out again, I want it to be FOR GOOD! "God I want it to be for GOOD"
"B" Breaks Free
Ok, by now everyone has heard of Atlanta's Brian Nichols and his court house melee
. I find it quite interesting that the first thought on many an A-T-L sista mind was that........He was Phyne! Excuse Us Lord for we have sinned, but the brotha was good lookin. He was off the CHAIN, but aiding and abieting was not far from alot of sistas minds. It just brought home the seriousness of the condition of our men and how they are coming up to the slavemasters gate and asking to be let into his 'home' for the rest of their lives, leaving us out here to fend for ourselves. Brothas - stop giving them what they want!
Feeding My TV Addiction
Well in true American Idol tradition - we have a drop out.
Mario Vasquez dropped out citing 'personal reasons'
. Nikko has replaced him and his grinning face is a bit brighter. Tomorrow begins the first of the 'real' competition. Personally just give it to Bo Bice and call it a day. The Fans however are speculating
; so Mario needs to say a bit more than what he has been saying.
Posted by Pamalicious ::
10:19 PM ::
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