Wednesday, April 12, 2006
Sunshine Monologue 184
For some reason, I like this picture. I have this look on my face that I can't identify. I get clowned by alot of folks because me and my family take ALOT of pictures! We will pull a camera out in a minute. Those that are bereft of their own identity say we are attention seekers - I say we are chroniclers of our life in pictures. It adds depth to our fabric and it speaks to our souls.
What's up?! Mini-me finally got a referral so let's see now can we get an appt. I had a revelation that I could get to work at 7:30am as asked if...I just had to come in the dining/office, lol lol. I was up and stayed up and got some work done. The pollen induced conjunctivitis is doing alot better, I won't have to pluck my eye out.
I have SO NOT BEEN FEELING LIKE I'M PERSERVING MY SEXY!! Yet apparently my sexy is way more than my looks (which I've always known) because LA's Finest seeing me raw and uncut like I've been lately - seems to be turning him on. Reminds me of Maya Angelou's "Phenonomal Woman" it's the subtle stuff that makes you sexy - not your hair and nails being done.....So though, I'm about to get back up on my game - I feel good...cause I am not defined by my exterior - but embraced and loved for WHO I AM, the Sway in my hips, the gleam in my eyes, the silliness of my laugh - yea it's like that.
Funny that Hassan
spoke about his turning 35 and the personal ramifications of this because I am 52 days away from the big 4-0! It has been on my mind for reasons similar to his. I never have had a...plan. I have just floated along this river of life - hopping off my raft to do this and do that. I wonder if living like that has served me well, am I going to hit 40 and have some kinda panic attack about the meaning of life, my life. I'm getting 'old in the tooth' as my momma says and though I have alot of irons in the fire - are any of them getting heat? Will my next 40 years be the ones that define me? I am starting to think that my first 40 might be chalked up to being WACK. Damn! Ok, Ok - I am not going there - breathe....
Ya'll know that I am a believer in the concept that you make a decision to love and I still hold to that notion, however, I am starting to ponder that there might be a bit of 'falling' in the mix as well. Why? because I am feeling it. I keep having this vibe that I am plowing deeper and deeper, my heart keeps fluttering and skipping beats. What in the hell?! Conversations bring new things to ponder and appreciate. I bounce back in between fear and estacy at the whole thing. We are in the process of trying to literally consume one another. As petals on our flower open and new things are discovered, I keep tumbling. I will now (after Janet began a conversation with ok first, what has LA's Finest done now) contain my thoughts to here and my personal diary. I guess folks are officially tired of me, lol. Seeing as he is gushing still, I wonder when folks will start giving him the 'uh okay you in love - good for you - stop telling us about it' look. I still am a bit baffled why happiness is still suppose to be a measured emotion, but sadness/drama/strife has no time limit....
I also have reaffirmed something else - when the relationship is not founded on sex, the discovery of how good sex can be is FANTASTIC! I don't dwell here often, but we been getting DOWN!! **giggle** **giggle** Reason One Million why I love being a GROWN ASS WOMAN! Bro been exercising his right to be a GROWN ASS MAN and it's looking JOOD (which is better than good). Queue up Busta Rhymes new one Touch It
- the original and peep those lyrics, lol
And as we started, got me ringing her bell (Uh huh)
When I come I be doin it and doin it well (Uh huh)
Then I beat up the coochie and be makin it swell
Tryin to hide the smell of the sex, spraying on the Chanel (TURN IT UP!)
THEN THEY TRY TO WALK WITH A STRUT SO NO ONE COULD TELL
HOW A NIGGA GOT IN THEY BUTT, MADE EVERYTHING GEL (Come on)
CAN'T GET ENOUGH OF THE KID I PUT HER UNDER MY SPELL
AND I'M O-U-T!!
Posted by Pamalicious ::
7:44 AM ::
Speak Your Piece