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For some reason, I like this picture. I have this look on my face that I can't identify. I get clowned by alot of folks because me and my family take ALOT of pictures! We will pull a camera out in a minute. Those that are bereft of their own identity say we are attention seekers - I say we are chroniclers of our life in pictures. It adds depth to our fabric and it speaks to our souls.
Funny that Hassan spoke about his turning 35 and the personal ramifications of this because I am 52 days away from the big 4-0! It has been on my mind for reasons similar to his. I never have had a...plan. I have just floated along this river of life - hopping off my raft to do this and do that. I wonder if living like that has served me well, am I going to hit 40 and have some kinda panic attack about the meaning of life, my life. I'm getting 'old in the tooth' as my momma says and though I have alot of irons in the fire - are any of them getting heat? Will my next 40 years be the ones that define me? I am starting to think that my first 40 might be chalked up to being WACK. Damn! Ok, Ok - I am not going there - breathe....
Ya'll know that I am a believer in the concept that you make a decision to love and I still hold to that notion, however, I am starting to ponder that there might be a bit of 'falling' in the mix as well. Why? because I am feeling it. I keep having this vibe that I am plowing deeper and deeper, my heart keeps fluttering and skipping beats. What in the hell?! Conversations bring new things to ponder and appreciate. I bounce back in between fear and estacy at the whole thing. We are in the process of trying to literally consume one another. As petals on our flower open and new things are discovered, I keep tumbling. I will now (after Janet began a conversation with ok first, what has LA's Finest done now) contain my thoughts to here and my personal diary. I guess folks are officially tired of me, lol. Seeing as he is gushing still, I wonder when folks will start giving him the 'uh okay you in love - good for you - stop telling us about it' look. I still am a bit baffled why happiness is still suppose to be a measured emotion, but sadness/drama/strife has no time limit....
