ThE EmAnCiPaTiOn oF pAmMiE

Thursday, March 30, 2006

Sunshine Monologue 180

To The Left....Slide

Blog Musical Mood: Fly Like A Bird - Mariah Carey

I'm so glad they decided to release that song as a single. I loved it the first time I heard the CD! So what's up peeps?! Another day, another dollar pissed away. Everybody doing ok in their neck of the woods? Everythang is quite breezy in my neck of the woods. Working my 'Corporate' today - we have huge meetings today and tomorrow - I'm shady at best up in here, but I know how to MEET, lol.

My mind has been awhirl and a swirl with this whole Relationship thing. Nothing negative, but just thinking of how as a single person - there is a shift to get into this modi operandi, especially if it's going well. The following concepts have been floating around in my head.

Yes I can Share

Let's be honest, most single folks are pretty well set up, especially if they have been out here working etc., but by the same token, alot of us are also set in our ways and as each day goes by and we remain mateless, these things begin to take on whole new meanings. You have to learn to play nice and share, lol The first thing that comes up - the remote! You know being single, you got all your shows bookmarked and set up and if you are female for the most part the following stations are NOT in the line up: ESPN, ESPN ZONE, etc. etc. just like at his house The Food Network might not be either. As you watch a person enter your space, you get nervous "they shit!" eventually (well hopefully) it subsides - but that foray from 'it's all MINE' to 'I gotta share' can be a big adjustment.


The development of relationships has you adjusting something very important...your time. Budding relationships take up alot of it, you really do just want to sit around breathing each other in. You go into this cocoon that usually lasts for about three months - at which time, everything takes the back burner. Good friends, understand this and back off, lol. Like now, my friend are starting to peep out the woodwork and be like "Hey you wanna...?" It's good to go into the cocoon - but always keep your individuality intact, it makes the dips back into the cocoon once the relationship gets to coasting that much better. Your friends will be counting on you to disengage yourself and rejoin the living, lol

High Maintenance

The days when you come home, put on some raggedy PJ's and park it might be over. You no longer can wear your coke bottle glasses, your retainer, your moustache wax, or sit and clip your toenails on the couch. You are in a relationship. I looked at my lounge/sleep wear and it is PITIFUL!! I gotta overhaul most of it. It's amazing how much straightening up I've been doing, lol. No longer are my clothes piled on the bed till Saturday Morning, lol Bras are put up, Hell Bras and panties are now matching, lol The thing is - I never realized how much I had let get a bit shall we say 'comfortable' - it's just something that happens. I also feel the need to straighten up my damn house - the clutter has gotten ridiculous. I have mapped out a couple of projects - I think I need a storage facility, lol

The Secret Society of Singledom

Whew - I was looking through my night stand the other day and it dawned on me, I had old numbers and all kinds of 'spoils' of dating in that drawer. It made me think, hmmm as we get closer and closer, I need to start purging. The biggest obstacle in alot of relationships - that damn computer! Where do you begin on that thing. My stuff is pretty streamline now, because I had been working on that one for awhile, but I know people, I interact with people and I would hope I wouldn't have to stop. My ass ain't out there so that should be fine - - the funny thing is I have been needing to purge - and this certainly is a good excuse. I already trimmed my IM list, my cell phone has been trimmed as well. Another thing you have to do is update your freak kits. Nothing worse than recycling old freak kits. Your relationship deserves NEW stuff people!!! Don't be skank! Hell, your relationship may spark you to want new personal me time stuff. Because no relationship should make you give up personal me time activities. That's your time to connect with you, lol So no, you don't have to go over your stuff with a fine tooth comb - because life isn't like that and it's not about hiding, it's about...moving on, but you might wanna pack up or get rid of those numbers you scored at the club and just threw in your nightstand, lol lol If for no other reason than they taking up space!

Us to....WE
"Hey we need to just jump in the car and take a jaunt to Houston to see NE girl" "Yea that would be cool" "Um you have a man now..." SCREECH! Hold up wait a minute! Hmmm - that's a concept that takes some getting used to,lol You get VERY used to operating in a tunnel and a solo tunnel at that. Taking someone else into consideration is a big thing. Now I know there are necks starting to move at this notion, especially given the example, but if you are trying to make a relationship work - you need to consider your mate. This isn't about asking permission, this is being open and accountable to your mate. You dont want him calling and saying "Hey I'm going to Carnival in Brazil with the boyz - be back next week" WTF?!

The Peanut Gallery
You know who they are? They end sentences with "I hope ya'll work out" or "Hmmm, you sure are spending alot of time together" or "well now, he's spending.the night." or "How long have ya'll been dating?" add that to every discusssion group, everyone who think they know the right way it should go, all the women's magazines and you have....chaos! Everybody got something to say about what you doing, how fast you doing it, what they would do. I am guilty of it as well, lol - Funny how this was one of the things that made my eyebrow go up in terms of LA's Finest - he said "Don't let folks rent space in your head, you will have no room to think." I used to run a Apartment complex up in this bad boy. The peanut gallery is not all bad - but as much as I hate to use this saying, relationships are a good case of DO YOU. Even if they turn out messed up, you have to your own journey.

So now add all of that with things such as: "Um, this is my child" "You spent What on that pair of shoes?" "Man I tell you, he was just calling to say what's up?" and all the other stuff and your freaking plate is FULL! Now of course this is a female perspective of it - I'm sure men have their own things as well.

What I do know, is that on paper relationships look all dewey and glowing and alot of sistas got pages and pages of words about how they want to find that love everlasting - but are you REALLY READY?! Some folks can't get off the single train, some folks figure out that in order to clean out their closet and by the time they did - they will be to old to hook up,lol So to end with another oldie but goodie - BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR! Cause really if you are not ready - then leave it alone.

Posted by Pamalicious :: 12:39 PM :: 1 comments

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