Sunday, October 09, 2005

Sunset Monologue 86

In Da Club

Blog Musical Mood: "Emotional Rollercoaster" - Vivian Green

If you listen close you will hear the sound of my bones creaking,lol. What a whirlwind weekend! I feel like I didn't get anything done, but in actuality I did. It's already Sunday evening and the week starts and I got a whole heap of stuff to try to fit into only hours a day. I have alot to tell ya'll about so let me get started.

Be Ready at 7:30pm

As evidenced by the title of this entry; a sista went out. Janet and I have been trying to explore where the grown and sexy go - so when we got an invite to Old School Second Saturday - we jumped on it! Now I haven't been out on this level of social since mid-summer, so I was anticipating this. Both Janet and I are awaiting royalty checks so we broke as hell and the lure of 'free before 10' was calling our names - except for one problem - WE ARE NEVER ON TIME!! For various reasons - we just can't seem to get that together. This time however, we said we were going to step outside our comfort zone and be on time, lol. Which meant, I had to start getting ready at around NOON that day, lol lol

Now sit back and enter the world of a woman getting ready to go out for the evening, lol. As I looked in my closet - straight panic overtook me. My heart pounded, sweat beaded up on my forehead and the universal sign of distress among all women went up "I have nothing to wear!" I pulled out five outfits and laid them out on the bed and proceeded to try each of them on, complete with jewelry. It's that iffy time of year where you don't know if you wanna rock late summer or fall gear. I fought the urge to run up the street to get me something and picked out the old standby black dress - then phase two, what shoe. I tried on various strappy sandles; dancing around my room trying to imagine what they would feel like after two straight hours on a slippery dance floor. I settled on a pair and laid everthing out on the opposite side of the bed.

I'm not sure about other women, but if I'm not seeing anyone, I tend to go bohemian. By that I mean, let the hair grow wild like corn stalks in the wind, lol lol Lately I've been communing with nature big time. Wearing pants and what not to cover up. Now I got a short dress to put on - so as I stand in the mirror looking like Sasquatch, it's time to get it all together. I got to bathe, shave, do nails and feet and make it quick. Now since this STILL ain't bout no man, I do a half shave which means up to just above the knee - if I shave up to my upper thigh ( and ladies please do the back of your legs, I have almost upchuck several lunches looking at a sista in hoochie shorts all shaved in the front turn around and she look like she got some nigga in a headlock with the back of her thighs)that means I'm on a date and If I'm clipping the cooch - IT'S ON!! So I get out all the appliances that we as women use and cart them all in the bathroom to transform into the dewey soft female all the men love.....

Soooo, now I'm out the shower, time to start the preliminary mind games. I cut on some soft music and begin lotioning up with the stuff to match the bath gel I just used. As I rub the cream in I seduce myself letting me know that I'm attractive, I'm desirable and I'm going to turn at least one head this evening.

By now the bathroom has become free of steam and I can go and put on my face. For some people this requires a cement mixer, but for me just a dab of foundation and some glittery eyeliner in 'old school' silver for the occasion and transforming these 'white girl' lips into something kissable, lol

Next up, tossling the hair and slipping the dress over my head. I'm feeling good....the the phone rings and it's Janet and we are excited because we're running on time and then I asked the question "what are you wearing?" and she begins the nightmare "Jeans" WHATTTTTTT?! "Yea you can wear jeans so to be comfortable, jeans and a funky top" I hang the phone up and look at myself and immediately run into the room. Damn Damn Damn - in five minutes I've totally changed clothes and glamed it down a bit, but now I'm late leaving the house and it's a 30-40 minute ride out to Janet's property.

EMERGENCY EMERGENCY CALL 911! I decided for some strange reason to put on TWO girdles. I don't know, it was a good time to get a sauna treatment in all that dancing I was going to be doing, lol Well I had not sat down in a good two hours, so when I got in the car - WHOOSH all the air was squeezed from my body and I couldn't breathe!! Seriously!!! I yanked the seat belt off and began trying to get the hell out of the python deathtrap I had made. After about 10 minutes,let the air flow. (As soon as I got to Janet's I took one of them off - she just shook her head in the "Mariah - you are going to HAVE to do better - shake")

Finally we are ready to go and we have one hour to get to our destination, yet it took us oooooo FIVE or so hours to get ready - - we were C-U-T-E!





Welcome Welcome to the party

The party was held at a hotel downtown and lo and behold we made it in free. We were feeling right. I had invited Sista Morena to join us and she beat us there. We found her and sat for a minute to take in our surroundings. I always have to do this because I'm not a clubber like that. I'm more a people watcher, lol I wanna see what's up. Within 2 minutes of coming on the floor where the party was being held I had scoped out the finest brotha at the set - so my work was done, lol lol. I scanned the room and identified every tall brotha in the joint and then went back and categorized all of them into Fine, Nice, Nah and Hide. Now as we all know the Hide category was the one that would probably ask you to dance...first, lol. Sitting give you a good vantage point because if you can see over a Bro's head then you know he's from here - I was looking for lower backs, lol. During this time is when I straddle the fence of adulthood. There were Brothers there in their late 40's which at my age are technically in my 'dating sphere' but they might as well date my mom, lol I was not feeling these double breasted suit, corona, fade wearing bros in the least bit. I'm still working on that one, lol

It was early but the dance floor was full already. People were mingling and what not and you know how black folks over 30 do, it's wayy more about profiling than anything else - the only saving grace for this event was it was 'old school' and that usually allows you to put your guard down.

I don't just dance to anything. Janet and I were waiting on 'that song' you know the song that you scream and race to the dance floor on. Usually for us that's a Mike song, but there are others. I just tapped my foot until that time came. Then it was ONNN!

Fifth Grade Dance

Clubbing for me is like a fifth grade dance. All the women end up dancing in the 'sista circle' You've seen the 'sista circle' groups of womens who dance together. One of the many reasons why I enjoy being a female - because we can do that, lol. Now I don't fault the Bros per say - they can't dance with everyone. I mean there are picking orders in the club. First the naked sistas, then the banging body sistas, then the sistas who got they man at the club and then the rest of us. This is Atlanta as well so most Brothas are just to damn pretty to break a sweat. The majority of them stand around just.....looking.

Well we finally hit the floor but there was a problem THE DJ SUCKED ASS!! I mean damn! He was horrible! All that scratching unnecessariy, not flowing records properly and it just broke your stride. We were doing the electric slide at like 10pm WTF?! Thats what you do when you wore out at the end. I was quite disappointed in the DJ but due to the 'genre' of music again - it could carry it's own weight.

Let me digress a moment to something I find fascinating. The worse piece of electronic equipment every made is the........CELLPHONE! Who the hell are you talking to in a loud ass room full of other people right in your face. More Negroes walking around talking on cell phones. Especially Brothas. Come on let's be real - you ain't making no deals on wall street, not checking no bank accounts, no tucking no kids in - so who the hell are you talking to?! That's level one corny as hell to me.

Shake Your Body Down to The Ground

The music took a needed shift about 11pm to straight classic hip hop. That brought everyone to the floor and the crowd of dancers was way bigger than the dance floor. The funny thing about rap is that in actuality what the hell kinda dance do you do - you are more inclined to.....RAP. We all knew all the words so there was alot of hand gesturing, posturing and threatening, lol lol than actual dancing. He took us East Coast and the West Coast and then to the dirty dirty. Now we all know I have this 'thing' for booty bass music, however, I have never danced to it in a club scenario (ain't that funny). Well now was my chance. As the strains of Luke started Janet looked at me and I look at Janet and dropped it like it was hot. We danced in that feverish rhythmic shake the music demanded and just let it all hang out. POP THAT COOCHIE!! It's poppin....it's poppin.......

My Neck My Back

Well after all that coochie poppin me and my group limped out into the lobby to catch a breeze and decided it was time to go. I really enjoyed myself and didn't let the fact that not one man approached me for any reason all night, throw me off. I was cute, I was with friends and it was all good. Sista Morena and I got separated, but I hope that I divided my time adequately. I admire the sista - she is one of those Sis. that is definately comfortable in her own skin. I watched her dancing with herself , enjoying the music and herself - GOOD FOR HER! Cause I couldn't do it, lol lol.

I woke up this morning and had an odd thought -could the following be going on in choirs across Atlanta this Sunday Morning after all that partying "Praise The Lord (Scrub the ground)"

Baby Daddy of the Week

I finally have found the apex of my desire, lol


Posted by Pamalicious :: 10:15 PM :: 1 comments

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