Wednesday, September 07, 2005

Sunshine Monologue 35

Rejoining the Conscious

Just Writing Free Form Today

Yawn!! Hey Dude and Dudettes, lol. A sista is awake this morning and glad of it. Thank God! As usual, I overdo stuff and so coming out of my social fast, I did a three BBQ extravaganza and was a zombie yesterday but had to keep pushing on due to Mini-me's life. Then I had to wrap my mind (and I haven't quite did that as of yet) Oprah's return to the little screen on location in New Orleans. All the footage and coverage I've seen - it's been for me from afar, but to be at ground zero yesterday was a bit too much. I had not shed an actual tear up till that point, but yesterday the flood gates opened. I did feel alot better - that weight I was carrying was tremendous.

I also have been voraciously reading all the blogs and editorials and commentary about this situation and I am very pleased to see that there are more 'awake' people than I thought. The bad taste in my mouth towards those 'we are the world' folks is getting more bitter. Sure some of us have Yanni as the soundtrack of our life and some of us have Public Enemy as the soundtrack of ours - I suggest more listen to Public Enemy, lol

Janet and Mariah - the reunion tour - Damn I missed my friend. Due to schedules, 'fasts' etc. I had not seen my girl in a month as well. We did alot of talking on the phone, but there's nothing like being in the presence of your best friend. I'm glad I saw my girl. Once again, we are going to try to go and greet the fans at For Sistas Only. We never can seem to get down there - the notion that the Rundu Models might be there - is spurring us on.

I Refuse to let it go! - Ummmm, why have I been on this 'food choice change' (like that eh?) for a little over a month and have not lost a freaking pound! Okay I lost one. I've lost about 9 inches but no actual weight. This is NOT GOOD! I have been doing some investigation and I might be retaining due to insulin retention. If my sugars and my A1c are not on point - then my body is clinging to the weight and the 'sugar' be it natural or not. I have been so out of control with my Diabetes Maintenance (I did tell ya'll I was type 2) that it's gonna take a bit longer for me to lose the weight this time. First I had to get my diet under control CHECK, now I started taking all my meds yesterday CHECK, next up get this ole body moving. I have a plan for that also and it's definately on the stealth tip. Mini-me goes to the Y - they are overpriced if you ask me. I come on in as her 'Guardian' for free. I'm all back in the dressing rooms etc. looking at the track etc. Well starting Thursday, I'm coming dressed and then I'm just gonna mosey my ass right on that track and walk while she's swimming the English Channel. I have paid for it somewhere. The Y should stop tripping asking almost $100 a month and then fees to participate in stuff, yet for Mini-me it's $8/month and fees to participate. I will rock that as long as possible - because she will be taking things at the Y, I've paid for the year.

Taking Off the Cloak - One thing I like about me is my ability to be non-descript. I can just go incognegro and be missed in a room full of two, lol When I went on my 'social fast' I did just that. I just blended in and didn't call any attention to myself. If attention approached me I felt like it was honest. Now that I've broken this haitus - I am starting to feel the cloak coming off. I have been rocking this 'natural' and been getting alot of compliments - something I didn't expect. I am noticing that sometimes - I have no dictate over my life. It is going to move with or without me. Sometimes I have to be a reactee (is THAT a word) and just go with it. Being in total control was never my thing anyway - so it's all good. Bring it on!

Coming Out of Retirement? - NY Transport (Yes I've assigned him a name) has certainly tempted me to come out of dating retirement. I am intrigued and I need to 'interview' Brotha. Based on his phone interview, he has sparked me to want a face to face. I refuse to let the cyncism of the world totally infiltrate my being and make me totally skeptical about the possibility of unity between me and a brotha. It is very much possible and I'm still very much open to the possiblity. I am tippy toe'ing because I don't know how deep the water is and I have a life vest available to me, but it's looking like I am coming out of retirement for 'special circumstances'. God help the blog kingdom if this goes awry, lol lol You will get an earful, lol
Posted by Pamalicious :: 8:32 AM :: 1 comments

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