ThE EmAnCiPaTiOn oF pAmMiE

Thursday, August 11, 2005

Sunset Monologue 64

I Got to Shake It Off

A muggy Thursday nite in Decatur. Yuck! I need to have a slip and slide in my bedroom so I can just lay there and let the water mist me, lol. I've taken to staying up a bit late. I spend about two hours just sitting here reading blogs, listening to music and contributing to my own blog. I feel like a late night reporter, working a story. This has become quite relaxing. I feel like I need sleep, but my mind is awake and vibrant, so I stay up. I'm sure I'll crash soon, but I'm enjoying the cerebral stimulation. I need to get my manuscript out - I might be coming out of writers hybernation. So here's a montage of the brain cells used today.


If you are engaged in communication where you don't get a chance to say anything - then you are not conversing. You are listening to an oratorical. If you are doing all the talking and not letting an exchange of views, ideas or information take place - then you are not conversing. You are giving a speech! People let's learn how to communicate effectively. It goes such a long way.

A Bespeckled Spectacle Called Me

I can remember getting my glasses and coming outside when I was NINE and saying to my Daddy "The Trees are so Green", lol lol. I have been blind as a bat for a long time now. I went all my formal undergraduate education - with just ugly glasses. Then contacts came along and I chucked my glasses.

Now because technology is much better and I can spend some loot. I have a nice pair of glasses, however, I still have this thing about people seeing me in them, especially men,I got enough problems. It's rare any man I've dated has seen me in my glasses, lol. Shame the vanity eh? I don't even look that bad in them.

I've been wearing them all week, which certainly leads me to believe, I'm not trying to attract anyone. It's my shield - my way of not drawing attention to myself. I need to stop using them for that purpose and rock my glasses; but as long as they make contacts - you'll get to see my pretty brown eyes - loud and clear.

May The Force Be With Me

Ever just had to set wheels in motion, that have needed to be given a spin for a long time. In a three page letter, I did just that and after sleeping with it under my pillow, and almost crashing this morning reading it, I did just that. Federal Express style. So PRAY FOR ME, because this is going to be a long weekend, starting at 10am tomorrow.

I am going to have to move

"That" family member (that we all have) that causes the hairs on the back of your neck to stand up has moved to my county. Twice has showed up unannouced at my home and I just got off the phone with them asking for money. This is not in line with my 'stress free year of being 39' mantra. I know as well, I should start something grinding concerning that as well, but one step at a time - getting that going - requires an advanced degree and I'm just a freshman. I hope I don't have to move out the county, I like it here.

Hooking Up

Well the ABC show "Hooking Up" wrapped up this evening. It was almost painful to watch these 11 women, because I was watching snippets of me and my dating adventures. People keep wanting me to write that book, but why? I have lived that and I want it to be two chapters in my auto-biography, lol I came away, feeling normal and that's a good thing - now define normal?

Roller Coasters are for kids

Mini-me went to Six Flags today with camp. She tells me she got on all the coasters, except for Superman which was shut down. I looked at her and realized I wasn't riding The Scream Machine or the Mind Bender at 11!! Obviously I was a late bloomer. Go figure! Fear not little one! I like that.

Survivor Guatemala

Hmmm, I guess we won't be outplaying, outwitting and outlasting this year. The new cast of Survivor, beginning September 15th on CBS is HERE

Questions I Pondered Today

A Moment of Clarity

Sometimes you run across a point of view that is so poignant, that you must lift and share. This little ditty was taken from MIDLIFE CRISIS - what a succulent breakdown f I say so myself.

Please Stop Fronting ... For the Love of GOD!

YOU ARE FAT…Stop Acting Like You Don’t Care.
That overly-aggressive, arrogant attitude don’t mean shit. You’re secretly afraid that men don’t find you attractive and you overcompensate. Plain and simple.

YOU JOINED THE ARMED FORCES…Don’t be mad at Bush now.
I guess you thought that you were gonna go to college and see the world. That’s what the fuck you get for believing those commercials. Your life belongs to the most retarded first-world leader at present. You fucked up. For real.

YOU WANT TO BE SPECIAL, Better Than The Rest…
So you’ve been spoiled by being singled out every now and again. You know you have the potential to shine. But you haven’t really. Not yet. So you focus on the future—when you actualize your true destiny. When your REAL LIFE will begin.
But you’ll be ready to fucking kill yourself if you were told that you have actually PEAKED.

YOU GOT PLAYED…Stop making excuses.
You were a dumb bitch. You had all the signs right in front of your face. He was cheating on his OTHER woman when he got with you. But you thought you were special. You thought he would treat you better than the others. You thought you had something over on the other girls. You thought you he showed the real him only to YOU. You thought wrong.

YOU’RE INSECURE…and you keep trying to prove otherwise.
You need other people to boost your self-esteem. You are annoying because you are always fishing for compliments. You read Iyanla Vanzant and watch Oprah and proclaim yourself healed. You try to pretend that you are independent but you’re really a needy motherfucker. And your stupid enough to think you’re fooling people.

YOU BELIEVE NO ONE’S GONNA LOVE YOU…so you’re busy fucking everybody else’s man. You call it independence. You call it Power. You call it being able to take him or leave him. But it’s just a way to get the attention and affection that you need in the meantime. Better that than standing around lonely and biting your fingernails scared that no one will truly ever love you for YOU.

YOU THINK PEOPLE ARE IMPRESSED BY THE FACT THAT YOU”RE A CHRISTIAN…You wear your “God-fearing” label proudly. You announce that you went to church this weekend like anybody really gives a fuck. You have illegitimate children. You forget that we know that you are a ho with little standards. Stop fronting.

Man Overload

Hmmm, I guess I got something on my mind, look at the men I've produced this week so far - I'll be having sweet dreams....

Posted by Pamalicious :: 9:46 PM :: 0 comments

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