ThE EmAnCiPaTiOn oF pAmMiE

Thursday, March 09, 2006

Sunshine Monologue 173

The Good Woman Blues



Blog Musical Mood: Black Sweat - Prince


La's Finest was singing to me last night (yes he does that - don't hate, lol) and it was a song he had written. It was a beautiful song all about the virtue of a good woman. The song is one that a man will keep in his mental rolodex to pull out when he's really messed up. I listened to it and then we briefly discussed it (and no I didn't question whether it was a song written off a wish or a song written after a wish come true) but he said something "you know this song is about a woman....like you". I was gracious in my acceptance of the title - but later on that evening as I lay in bed, I could do nothing but sign because people I got the "Good Woman Blues".

Let's first start with the title "Good Woman" - specifically the fact that you can't label yourself a good woman! It has to be a title given to you. As a lifetime member and one who was inducted into the Good Woman Hall of Fame December 1999, the qualifications are that at least THREE men have to verbally say you are a good woman and one of those must be in angst as in "You are such A GOOD WOMAN, I don't want to lose you" and at least one non-hating sista must verbally assign that title to you - and she can not be yo momma. So if you are going around 'proclaiming' you are a good woman - that sends danger signals - folks TELL you that - you don't SAY IT yourself, lol.

But anyway, as I lay in my cold bed last nite - I really got to thinking - exactly what has being a 'good woman' gotten me? We can go through all the 'attributes' about what makes a good woman, there are songs, poems, books, movies all depicting it, but here's something folks don't look at; being a good woman is the lonliest gig in town. In my year or so of blogging - you can count specifically my 'excitement', lol lol I haven't even HAD A RELATIONSHIP since I've been blogging. I had sex twice last year (and years are still 365 days). Yet I am a damn good woman (sigh).

Good women's Ex's stay in contact because they need her to rate who they are trying to date. Good women's IM blows up with brothers who need 'counseling' on what's wrong with them and/or their lady, Good women have men come by their cube at their job so they can 'take a walk' and lift him up cause his woman won't support his dream of being whatever, Good women are precious, rare and BY THEY DAMN SELVES!

Good women are NEVER first. Sometimes the car comes before her. Most good women just want to be in the top five, lol We don't ask for much. We actually (and I believe that I do) undervalue our worth. Men must have foresight, balls, sense and fortitude to hem up a Good Woman but unfortunately, alot of Brothers are just plain afraid of the ramifications of having one. It sounds all good and dandy on paper, but they cop out before you even get to the good part. Good women nowadays are stepping stools - we prop brothers up, make them whole and then they thank us and go get with someone else :(

Now don't get me wrong - it is a pleasure and a privledge to be honored by Blackmen as being a Good Woman - I'm Muslim, I don't subscribe to the theory of heaven - I WANT MY WINGS AND MY MAN NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So I'm sorry it's a curse sometimes people. I haven't been in alot of relationships in my 39 3/4 years,however, it's an excerise in futility - because like alot of other good women - we tend to pick brothers in flux, brothers thinking outside the lines - therefore they got much on their plates and even more on their minds. These are the Brothers we vibe with the best - because alot of the traits that constitute a good woman - allow a man to go out here in the world and be a man. But it leaves us ASS OUT most of the time - We always gotta wait on ours - we get ours in the long run - we get ours - as soon as he gets it set up for us - because we don't deserve anything but the very best...............

Keeping it real, here's a prime example:

U are the reason,I know what I want in a woman. - Mobetta (2006)


What in three levels of hell is THIS suppose to mean? All the stuff we went through and how I held it down and all that other stuff and this is the sum of our past relationship. I am the LITMUS for which he puts other women up against.

Keeping it even realer, Ya'll hold on I need to go in my closet in the back, under my good prada pocketbook and get out my bag of 'issues'. At this point, I don't carry it around - nothing really in it that I don't carry around in my cosmetic bag - and because I'm of the pop culture generation - it is on a VCR Tape as a Sitcom, lol Actually an episode of "The Fresh Prince of BelAir" in this episode Will's Father comes back into his life and they grooving or whatever and then right when Will had embraced him - his pops had to go - Will gave an impassioned speech about how he was gonna make it and how he was a good man in spite of etc. etc and then he looked at Uncle Phil (and you can insert me looking at the ceiling in the blue light of my DVD Recorder) and he said "Man why he don't never want me?"

Posted by Pamalicious :: 9:41 AM :: 6 comments

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