Monday, December 19, 2005

Sunshine Monologue 64

The blanket got mighty dank and needed a wash

Blog Musical Mood: Psychedelic Shack - Temptation

Man Happiness Week went very well. I still have lingerings of it's powerful effect on my psyche. You really have to fight the notion that happiness is corny and lame -and experience it for what it is in your life and not what you would like it to be - the lesson I learned is that Happiness IS the status quo, we just fight it because we live in Hell and Hell dictates that we worry, sulk, fight, etc. I'm rearranging my emotional priorities....

So with that being said - let me get started on this here blog entry!

Kinja is down for maintenance and so I have no idea what my peeps have been talking about over the weekend, yet this is good because I'll be home the majority of the week and now I have reading

Why was Atlanta cursed with both Michael Baisden and Frank Ski on our radios? Did we do something wrong? I'm so tired of Frank Ski's 'Gospel' program in the morning - he is NOT inclusive of anyone who is not like him.....and Michael Baisden -if he can have a show - hell I can have a show. He has no radio personality at all!! All that hollaring. I try to avoid BOTH.

So having watched 'The Temptations' on VH-1 all weekend - I had to clear out some room on the MP3 and make a Motown Gold folder. That movie ranks up there with 'The Five Heartbeats" for obvious reasons.

If you didn't see Kung Fu Hustle - check it out. Funny as all get out. For ATL Originals, it was like I was at the Rialto again, lol

TOMORROW we find out who the Carver is on Nip/Tuck - well we better find out!/li>

I will not buy that camcorder I am 'watching' on Ebay - I can't afford it right now

Mini-me went out Friday as well and came tipping in at 12:38AM!! Though she was supervised the entire time, I got in her ass about not calling me and I hadn't seen her since 7:30 that morning. The parent she was with didn't have a cell phone but they still make phones. Her eyes were so twinkling from the good time she had, lol lol. She's blessed

A true recipe for disaster: Justin Slayer films (I have four in my collection now), Aunt Flow rising over the horizon, A pair of perfect white teeth surrounded by wonderful full "I'm black and proud" lips......

So in all honesty - I felt the same the day after as I felt the day before. I'm not necessarily sure I've been 'satisfied'. What I mean by that is - physical release is good and all, but once I placed my heart back in it's cavity - it's still at the same place it was. If it's not all connected then there is a disconnect. The nagging feeling in the back of my mind is there, the whispers of it would have been even better if we had an emotional connection got kinda loud the day after and I had to let 'Cumisha' come and have a talk with me.

For the folks who take notes specifically to point out flaws - this was not a stranger. I actually had met him a year ago, but at the time he had a girlfriend and so it went no further. He contacted me at the 'club' and we started communicating again. I can admit however that I praticed 'self hypocrisy' in order to get to that point - but you know what I truly BELIEVE in what I speak and I LIVE my life based on those principals, YET even I say I got swallowed up by my own rhetoric this year, lol lol. It is not that deep, lol It doesn't have to be that heavy on my soul, I'm still walking a good path in my life - when you start judging self, then you are minimizing your journey and blocking trials and paths you might are suppose to walk.

So I'm not going to let it overtake me in this coming year. Life is what life is and I took myself out of it by becoming bogged down. Besides it's usually embarassing when I get back in the game, because I have this 'revirginization' issue - and at almost 40, it's a pain in the ass and a bit embarassing.

I wanna give a special shout out to the thin lean brothers. They have always had a special place in my heart because in the beginning of my attraction to brothas - this was it. It was only after I had become a true adult - did I begin to explore the bulked up man. So my range on body types has some wiggle room in it, lol. 5'10 or so about 170lbs - muscle definition - I likes.

So Cumisha had her a good time - neither one of us has any expectations or know the 'next step' and neither one of us is worried about it. They know how to reach me........
Posted by Pamalicious :: 10:48 AM :: 2 comments

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