ThE EmAnCiPaTiOn oF pAmMiE

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Sunshine Monologue 63

Looking Over My Shoulder

Blog Musical Mood: Elevator Music while on Hold

It's currently 8:57am

Blogger was not having it last evening - so NO I was not entralled in something decadant, I just couldn't get on. Therefore (while looking over my shoulder and pacing my 85 wpm to a cadence that won't be recognized as me typing out my head). I'm giving it to you during 'the hours', lol lol.

I know that I started out with my pitiful sunday post - however - I'd like to say that I am feeling fine. I am not depressed or stressed. That's actually the whole point of that entry. That I am comfortable in the way I am handling myself as I go about this world. I've gotten to that point and I want to stick with it. Now it makes good blogging fodder to whine, bitch and moan but I do want to make sure my friends know that I'm doing okay, lol lol I have not lost any sleep and I still have alot of faith about the man/woman area of my life. I find my journey unique and it might actually be offering insight to someone - so that's why I keep plugging away. Now that I got that out of the way.....

I just had the best customer service probably of my LIFE, lol. Metro was holding my cell phone payment twice on my card and you know a sista ain't trying to pay folks ONCE let alone TWICE - so I called up the bank to see what the problem was and the sista on the phone was soo nice. She actually called Metro to verify I actually had only paid and they had credited my account once and then released the hold on my card. I told her that she was the nicest customer service person I had met all year and I got her name and a place to write. I got off the phone feeling good!! and $54 richer, lol.

So confessional time - I've been trolling the on-line sites again. I went to the various 'bars' I used to hang out in and just sat in the cut incognegro seeing were there any new faces etc. etc. You can do that you know, lol. I came out of hiding on one site and then decided that was too straight forward and so I actually deleted my account. The only way to break that particular cycle. But I am laying in the cut, not drawing attention to myself on another site. I have enjoyed some snippets of converation and this is all in 24 hours, lol.

I watched some good stuff on television last night. I caught up with Nip/Tuck (sorry no links due to the venue I'm making this entry from). Man oh Man. It wasn't even disturbing that Doc was taking it up the rear and doing Julia and finally digging hard into Troy and McNamera, but Christian dogging that woman was disturbing...I can't wait to tape this evenings episode.

Has anyone watched this show on the A&E channel called "Intervention" . It focuses on two addicts of some sort making their way to an intervention. Last Nite I saw a man who takes 22 shots sometimes a day and by shots I mean ICE TEA GLASSES of Jack Daniels and what is his profession "a Stunt Driver" Yep he gets behind the wheel of an automobile! I also saw a woman so stoned on Heroin that she just laid by her nose on the bathroom mirror and said "umm I must have fallen asleep" it's raw I tell yah. I was watching her and I'm not going to lie and "Janet" concurred, that looking at her - you felt compelled to ask yourself, "what does that feel like to be that in some zone".


Ok, I'm back, lol - Finally last night I watched a Discovery Health special "Dangerous Deception: DL Men" Now I guess I should (though I shouldn't have to) say that I am well aware that I have a strong gay readership - Gay blogs were my introduction to the blog world and I have made some wonderful on-line friends, fans etc. I don't subscribe to the hysteria or the rhetoric - and in actuality this isn't the group of folks this was about. I believe that just like we as African Americans have a 'problem' with niggaz - there is a problem with DL in the 'community' it sullies the movement and the clarity that everyone is trying to reach. However, I'm a hetrosexual female and whether it's on the front burner because the media needs something to talk about, or it's the hysteria for the coming years - it's a topic that needs to be in rotation in our community.

Ever been watching someting on TV and wish you had people around you because you feel a good convo brewing? There was one sista who was an IV drug user and made it thru that portion of her life - even in her drug haze she took an HIV test every six months. Only to be taken down 'by the love of her life' who she met after getting clean. Another sista spoke about how they used protection and he was the manliness of men and one time the condom broke and in that one episode she contracted HERPES, HIV and Got pregnant! DAMN!!! He was just a walking cess pool. One of the Drs. spoke about at what point do you take the condom off and then how do you renegotiate putting it back on without implying anything about your mans' manhood is HARD. It is definately alright to inquire as to whether or not your man is or has indulged in intercoure with men - but are you ready for the answer? A man told his woman he had in the past. She is on screen saying she's cool - she's never been loved like that - (damn was he fine, lol) then when they fight she calls him a Faggot. He's hurting because he told the truth and that's his past, but deep inside she's harboring that.

This subject because it is SOO charged with emotion, experience, and religious connotation that our community has been and will continue to struggle with this topic and yes I had 'feelings' while watching this. - personally the time to stop making sure we know 'they' are going to hell has ceased and the time to try to study, understand and make oneself knowlegable about how this behaviour is affecting us has arrived. We can't continue to expound on how much pussy and dick we getting and be so ignorant as to cop a tude when something real is brought up. Man do chastity belts come in different colors?

Signing off at 9:54am

Posted by Pamalicious :: 9:52 AM :: 5 comments

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