Thursday, April 28, 2005
Sunshine Monologue 7
This and That
Time Won't Give Me TimeAhh me and time - sometimes we just don't jive, lol I have quirks about me that prevent me from being on time, but for the most part I'm a timely person. I don't set alarms, I like my innerclock to arouse me in the morning. Now this bring about stress because my inner clock has battery problems, lol Mini-Me and I are on the same clock, so that also doesn't help.
For example, this morning we were pretty much on time. Thennnnn "Let Me Clear My Throat" One of my favorite club jams comes on the radio! So what does that mean? DANCE INTERLUDE! So we are dancing up a storm in the living room - that song is almost 10 minutes long!! Just like
THAT we're late, lol But I had a goodtime with Mini-me. Now there's Time, CP Time and Individual Time. I tend to work more on CP Time, however, in relation to others - - I'm early, lol Go Figure. I am always the first at any event my friends are attending and so I have to pace and make myself slow down and make myself late.
I am going to work on my acknowledgement of time......eventually
Living in the Munsters HomeI wanna talk about my yard. For as long as I've lived in this house the yard has been a bone of contention with me. I am NOT a yard person! I want a nice yard but I don't want to do it myself! There was a time when if teenagers lived on a block, and they needed money they would be out CUTTING GRASS!! Now they would just rather stay home and BEG. I don't even own a lawnmower, I keep saying I have to get one because paying upwards of $50 to cut grass is also not sitting well with me. When did that become such a profitable business?! My yard is a hot mess and EVERYONE knows I'm single and don't have alot of men up and about the spot, so you would think the SINGLE man next door would just mosey on over to my yard as he's cutting his - but NOOOOOOOOOO!! I have to get it done soon, because now I'm feeling the pressure to get it cut, as well as I think it's starting to look like Jumunji, lol lol So I'll break on down and call a service or something to come cut and trim and get the yard looking right - God could you please keep the rain at bay - it's making my grass grow!
I like You BUT....One of the worse conversations you can participate in. You meet a person, you like them, you enjoy their company but romantically there is no spark. How does this happen? They good people, They are attractive but there is that something missing that would propel you into that relm. You sometimes can't even identify what it is, but you know it's not 'on and poppin' in that area, so now becomes "How do you tell that person?" I always have a hard time with this one because it's just not in my nature to be breaking hearts, lol But sometimes it needs to be done. The thing is you can't have it both ways. If you are dealing with the opposite sex, at this stage in the game, we all got lots of friends and usually are not trying to meet to acquire new ones. So you want to remain friends with this person because they do have qualities that you like but you don't want them to misconstru the romantic intent. Well usually once you say you are not 'feeling' them in this way - they get ghost and you lose the entire package! Damn! I never like this conversation, but if you're dating it's an inevitable one at some point. I still say it's one of the many cruel jokes that accompany being single and dating out here, lol
Posted by Pamalicious ::
9:40 AM ::
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Tuesday, April 26, 2005
Sunset Monologue 31
Well There Goes My W.I.C.
Sour Milk
How a story can change direction! Milkman was trying to stand strong to his newest route acquisition, letting me know that I would be getting VERY FRESH milk on the regular if only I would let him in. I was still contemplating this offer, because I kept feeling like something was off. I even spoke to Mobetta about this (yes I speak to him about just about anything, we cool like that). So imagine my surprise as I'm sitting at my place of work Yesterday after a previous day of hanging with Milkman when my phone rings and a female voice announces that she's Milkman's MAIN customer and he's been out trying to acquire new routes without her knowledge! I didn't know what to say, so I just remained calm as she wanted to know a few things about his new route. I answered her questions because there was no drama - it was her route'; I had nothing invested and there were so many more possibilities available for me, that losing a milk route had not sent me trippin. She asked if he had 'spilled any milk and I reassured her he hadn't!!
Now I haven't been one to experience this (only once before) so I handled it the way I always handle any situation like this. I'm not the enemy and she's not mine - I don't have a bad milkman.....she does! and I directed her to herself, her scripture and HER MAN! Why fight and bring the drama to your doorstep. That was easy as 1,2,3, lol
I haven't heard from Milkman, which tells me that there was some validity to what she proclaimed, because by now I would have the 'baby let me explain' speech and offers of chocolate milk, cream and juice as a consolation prize. Then again, maybe it's hard for him to drive with a foot up his ass!
Surprisingly, I'm not even offended or upset about the change of events. I learned a couple of things, just on the fly, like I usually do:
1. My Karma remains intact, by the way I handled myself.
2. I need to always respect my own intuition about things.
3. Just an interlude in the life of being.......Dateless in Atlanta
It feels good to have the sun on your head!
Living My Life Like It's Golden
When I turned 38, I chopped off all of my hair. There was no specific reason, the Gemini in me just had a talk with myself (lol) and we decided to just flip the script. Well ole Gemini reared it's head again and we decided to rock some sunshine for the summer of 2005. So six hours, two colors and some itching ass eyebrows - I am rocking the golden blonde! Oooo weeeee! I feel good! All of a sudden I am vibrant! America's Next Top Model betta watch out! Check out my profile picture to see my new look.
I Can't Stand This Living All Alone
Hmmm, it's MIGHTY QUIET in here
I have been humming the late, great Phyllis Hyman's song lately because sometimes this living alone is for the pits. Sure I've got mini-me, but it's almost 11pm and she isn't up and besides, we do our own thing in this house, lol So ultimately I live alone in terms of not having any adult counterpart here.
No it's not even about the man thang - it's just about the pittering and pattering and conversations with self and limited adult interaction. I sometimes question whether I really am a loner and I think I'm a combination of introverted and extroverted. I feed off people, but I don't really like them all that much, lol
I just know lately, I've been tired of living alone.
A Promise for the Summer
I am publicly announcing that when the Television reruns begin, I am going to embark on some other activities that I have either been avoiding, slacking on, or putting off. I realized that television has not become my daughters babysitter but mine! The hours I spend in front of the boob tube actually lead me to slight depression states and are just not becoming someone as creative as myself. Three things I am taking up this summer (1) reading again (2) writing again and (3) paint by numbers. I was at the local hobby/craft store and they have some great ones. I think it would be relaxing and focusing.
Why is the blogger reviled?
Ok, I know I came in on the tail end of this, and I'm not even sure anyone is READING my blog - however, I wonder why it is treated with no respect. For as long as I can remember, the ability to express one's self, no matter how sublime has always been attractive to me. I have been keeping a journal since I was 12 and I have them all so blogging was a natural progression especially seeing how much time I spend on the net. I read all the time about how 'useless' blogging is and alot of people just don't understand the concept, yet they will type six paragraphs in a discussion group, lol lol The need for someone to acknowledge your existence on this planet is great; for some greater than others, but there is a need.
So even if one person reads my blog and finds it boring, I'm out here and to quote Celie "I'm here GOD"
Baby Daddy of the Week
Again thanking www.rundu.com
Posted by Pamalicious ::
9:27 PM ::
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Thursday, April 21, 2005
Sunshine Monologue 6
I Get So Emotional! - The Emotions Blogger Edition
Passion
Is it better to be doing cartwheels on day one or having the ability to still do them day 1000? Are fiery infernos necessary to indicate attraction? I was thinking about this in the car (since I can't do anything else!) and how even when you fight it - the instant gratification monkey can get on your back. It's insidious and a blood sucka to boot. Passion should be like a slow boiling water. See how you get the little bubbles, which I call intrigue, then you get that steady roll which is intense interest and then you get that hard fierce boil BINGO!!! The only thing you have to worry about is making sure you are adding new water and fuel to that pot, cause it can get grating just dry humping (wink)
Envy and Jealousy
It just ain't liquor, lol. Are these words taken on or assigned to you? Envy is defined as: A feeling of discontent and resentment aroused by and in conjunction with desire for the possessions or qualities of another. Jealousy is defined as: Having to do with or arising from feelings of envy, apprehension or bitterness.
I think I experience Envy every blue moon but I assign it to myself and it's a more a feeling of discontent as oppose to resentment. I'm not one to go around wishing hate on folks because they have xyz - in particular material things. I do know that straight jealousy arises when I watch some of 'The Fabulous Life Of" and that's somewhat tongue in cheek at best.
The emotions also open up the arrogrance vs humble can of worms and you going round and round. I think for me it's more important to not surround myself with the likes of it in my interpersonal life, but also to not alienate myself from the 'do betters' because I've decided I'm not worthy. I sometimes am falling into that trap and coming to realize that - I decided because of monetary issues, I didn't 'want' certain things when in reality HELL YEAH I WANT THAT STUFF!
Hatin
A relatively new term on the map with no real formal definition, but we all know what it means because we use it incessantly. "you hatin" "stop hatin" "who hatin" So the meaning could be: dousing one's flames of accomplishment or satisfaction with self by interjecing your own dissatisfaction. I'd rather be Envious than Hatin because it has and never will be accepted. To be 'Hatin' on someone gets no mercy and there is no sleep for the weary. As well as sometimes you come upon Jealousy and even Even quite innocently, but 'Hatin' is a purposeful act and usually reflects way more upon you than anything else. The problem with Hatin arises when it's pointed out. For some reason once someone says 'stop hatin' you are up for intense scrutiny and the label sticks. You are suddenly 'mad cause you......' fill in the blank. I've had people hatin on me and to be the recipient of 'hatin' is not a good feeling, unlike jealously where you can kinda take that energy and twist it into 'you wish you were me' with hatin - you come away with 'i'm not good enough to be jealous of, so you have to hate?' But I do like how the word is thrown around, lol Cause sometimes people pass out the glasses and then get mad when the haterade is poured.
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2:05 PM ::
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Wednesday, April 20, 2005
Sunshine Monologue 5
I hope that was the best High You EVER Had
Your home, your domain, your castle, where you let it all hang out. When that santity is broken, the violation you feel, no matter how small the infraction is huge. Well my domain was sullied when I came out of my home on Monday to get into my car and mini-me and I sat looking at the gaping hole where my radio used to be. DAYUM! DAYUM! DAYUM! Somebody has snuck me for my Radio!!
I sat there for a minute gathering my wits about it and then had several emotions - the nervous laugh, the rememberance that I didn't lock all the doors, the anger that they took my shit, the bewilderment that people still jack radios (it's so passe' in my book) and the realization that someone was up in my carport that previous early morning or so, sitting in my ride, taking my radio!! Clean smooth job too - left the screws in the cup holder! Wasn't nothing I could do so I took mini-me on to school and then came home to 'secure the perimeter'. I called Dekalb Cty and they informed me they 'don't come out for that crime anymore. Someone will call you to take a police report over the phone'. So I fuddled around the house making sure all my windows and doors and other things were secure.
THEN IT DAWNED ON ME! and the rage set in.....my disk 3 of my Michael Jackson Ultimate Box Set was in the CD player and now lost to me forever!!!!!!!!! It had my best cut - the demo for "Shake Your Body Down To the Ground" on it!!
I hope they smoked the HELL out of my Radio! I really do!!!
Can Santa Come to the Ghetto Early?
Maybe he can avoid traffic, lol. Bump Xmas in July - I have been thinking about my list NOW! I looked up and I want soo many things but here's the abbreviated list
1. New Sound system for the car (!!)
2. DVD Player for my Bedroom
3. New Stereo for the Living Room
4. Scanner for my computer
5. Lawn mower or Lawn Service
6. Bench for my porch
7. Seven underwear sets
8. New Comforter Set for my Room
9. Summer Coach Bag
10. Beyond Paradise Perfume Set
The Three Month Rule
As you know I am a fan of "Girlfriends" on UPN with Joan, Mya, Toni and Lynn. I got to thinking about something Joan has in effect...The Three Month Rule. Joan will not have sex with a man until 3 months, 90 days, 2,160 hours, lol lol
My question is - is the rule even relevant between todays man and woman? ( and please note I speak on relationships and men and women as the OVER 35 set - I have no idea with the under 30 set is doing). If you told a Brotha up front "I'm not getting physical for 3 months" WHY are you saying that? Is it to get to 'know' the person or are you controlling a situation that ultimately you really have no control over. Game is Game and I've seen some pro's wait it out and still hit it and quit it.
To me sleeping with someone and knowing them are two different things, lol. So it's more about me 'deciding' I really like you like that. That I wouldn't mind sitting in my PJ's having breakfast with you or I wouldn't mind if you used the soap I told you NOT to use in the bathroom.
I have met people I have no interest in 'knowing' and then I've met people where I would like to 'know' a person a little bit. I'd like to see if when we are together there is chemistry. I'd like the lust to die down and the desire to mount and with that I need to be intrigued.
I don't have a 'rule' about it but I do have barometers - kinda check points if you have it.
Posted by Pamalicious ::
10:00 AM ::
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Saturday, April 16, 2005
Sunshine Monologue 5
This is the Blog Entry That Never Ends!
Can't Take Ya'll Nowhere OR Yes I admit I'm Bougie
I have to accept the fact up front that I am a card carrying member of the 'Bourgeoisie' or 'Bougie' for short. I cringe at the sheer notion that I will be somewhere and my people will show out. However, it seems as if I'm always being tested on my self proclamation.
Case in point - Mini-me was chosen to receive the Board Scholar Award. It's a prestigious award given to the top five academic/citizenship and behavior students at each Elementary School in my County. I was quite proud of her and we went to the ceremony so she could be recognized.
As soon as I walked in the gym - I knew they were attempting to have a quality program. I was glad that all the recipients were dressed appropriately (no sneakers, hanging jeans etc.) and that MOST parents and family members were obvious 'reflections' of their children and their ability to succeed.
Well I sat down and before long - I saw rather heard them coming and much to my chagrin - I had just become a magnet for the "ying yang twins" "Foxy Brown" "Little Kim" and "Shorty Pimp nem" Lawd have mercy! Why must we be so loud? Why must little 'quintavious' ( a common name these days) be embarrassed as foxy nem scream his name, stomp their feet and then talk about all his fellow classmates? I was turning 3 shades of red, because I still see it as, when the spotlight turns on them from the public - I am in the line of fire.
I was so glad when the program was over and half of the twins packed up his 4 cameras and what not that he told us quite proudly 'he uses when he gets his freak on' and got the hell up out of dodge!
Quintavious baby - I hope you get a full scholarship - OUT THE STATE!
40 IS the NEW 30
When Mini-me told me this - I was like "that has got to be the best marketing plan I have heard in awhile!" So exactly what does that mean? Does that mean that in 2006 when I turn 40; I'm really 30 and I can partake of all the supposed things 30 year old do? I took a moment to look back at my 30's and I made a lot of change during the beginning from moving back down south, to establishing myself in the work force, to beginning the journey in my dating/relationship life post marriage. UH I DON'T WANT TO GO BACK THERE!!?! Maybe The Desperate Housewives are relishing their forever 30's, but I'm looking forward to my 40's and being IN my 40's. I think it will be a time of picking the flowers I've been nuturing in my teens, twenties and thirties.
Now in terms of my previous entries concerning my 'mojo' and my 'legacy' I can see how because we are pretty much stunted in our growth emotionally and mentally these days that unlike yesterday where people were hitting their stride by 35, most of us won't hit it till we are about 45 and that's cool.
Hmmmmm, maybe 40 IS the new 30 - it's just made to look frivolous on TV.
Letting it all hang out
Can you do that? Can you just approach people or relationships and just let it all hang out? Take your girdle off and let those belly rolls breathe? Tell a person exactly who you are, no pretense, no cleverly edited stories about yourself - can you answer the hard questions and reveal the bitter truths?
I wonder what would happen if we did that? I wonder.. I wonder..
Questions I'm Still Thinking On
This week was full of some of the most intriguing conversation! I mean it has been blowing my mind, how indepth the people I know come at me, lol It's what I ask for though and so I gotta take it.
First "MoBetta" and I have been on quite a liberating ride lately. After the Goat conversation, I felt like so many things were lifted from my soul. That conversation will go down in history as the best bit of criticism I've ever had from the opposite sex and now it's our running joke, lol
He asked me "How do you know love?" "Did you EVER feel it from me?" The questions took me aback because it became clear to me that it is a sad place that we throw the word love around so haphazardly and that if it's important to you - then you want to know, and especially the blackman, that you acknowledged his love and it meant something to you.
I answered him giving him two examples and I could feel thru the IM box his fluttering heart be still, because sometimes we can only love the best way we know how and if it's never acknowledged, then maybe we feel like 'damn I've never been recognized for my love'.
Next up "Milkman". The drug of newness has raced thru my veins and I'm giddy with the high. Men think they have it on lock the concept that the only thing better than oldness is newness, but as women we feel the same way except the very best for us is STEADINESS, lol
This is the interviewing round where you ask every question from the poignant to the sublime just to hear the other person talk and to gain tidbits that you can stick on the real live person in your assessment of their potential.
"Milkman" is quite the conversationalist and thru that Brooklyn Accent he's flushing himself out to me and making me a bit flush, lol
My multi-personalities are beating the shit out of each other as they argue over whether or not they will propel me forward into this and it's keeping me up at nights, but I'll quiet them all down soon.
There were actually two questions, but I'll address one here and another on it's own. "What was the most romantic thing ever done for you?" **CRICKETS** **CRICKETS** and did I say **CRICKETS** I drew a complete blank! Could not think if a damn thing that has stuck to my memory banks. However, I could think of several things when the question was "what are some of the romantic things I have done for other people" That put ALOT on my mind bloggers and blogettes, lol What the hell is up with that?!
Damn, Why are you Single?
The question that rings around the world, lol It's that question you absolutely dread answering because when you're putting your best foot forward, you don't want to think about the reality that if you ALL THAT why is your ass having a personal relationship with the couch instead of another human!
The unique flip I got on this was "no why have YOU remained single" which definitely put a new spin on things because it validated that I was a good catch, LOL I give him points for that one.
My answer (paraphrased by now cause you know when you give these brilliant answers they don't stick around, LOL)
Because I have never seen in a man's eyes the same passion for me that I have had for him.
That's it. When I see pure, heavy, open, honest, overwhelming commitment and passion in a mans eyes. I will be his Mrs.
Posted by Pamalicious ::
9:04 AM ::
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Tuesday, April 12, 2005
Sunset Monologue 30
The Have Nots
I HAVE NOT slow danced in over 8 years! I'm not talking about grinding all in the club all ignorant, but I'm talking about slow dancing, the last time it was in my living room and Anita Baker Sweet Love was on and we cut out the lights and lit candles and just danced.
I HAVE NOT been to a wedding in over 15 years! Everyone I know was already married by the time I met them and no one is getting married in my age bracket these days.
I HAVE NOT resolved my issues with short men. Shallow but plausible in my sphere, this is Georgia - the tall brothas are hard to come by.
I HAVE NOT stopped eating frosted flakes even though I'm 'working on summer fineness' it just shouldn't be made illegal.
I HAVE NOT stopped being afraid of The Amityville Horror - stop remaking that shit!
I HAVE NOT totally decided Mike is Guilty
I HAVE NOT forgiven anyone lately for any level of bullshit
I HAVE NOT slipped up in playing my job game in awhile now
I HAVE NOT understood the lure of the Playstation/Xbox yet
I HAVE NOT made any attempt to get out of debt this year
I HAVE NOT told my mother about my blog
Maybe next I'll do the WILL NOTS
Posted by Pamalicious ::
8:56 PM ::
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Monday, April 11, 2005
Sunset Monologue 29
Catching up on Plicious' Brain Cavity
Hmmm, the sun has been calling me for several days and I was heeding it's message. I feel refreshed and alive as if the dormant pulse in my body has begun stretching and getting ready for the marathon of the activity of summer.
A lot of random thoughts have been rolling around my head and now that I'm in the blogging mood - let me press EJECT.
I'm so tired of being broke!
Ed McMahon Do You Have A Check For Me?
One of the reasons, other than the fact that it's too time consuming, that I don't like going to the Mall is because I get upset. Upset that the marketers know their job and entice me constantly as they peddle their wares. I made a choice a long time ago, that frivolous things like clothes, shoes, etc. would never be a focal point of my life or my dollar - now several years later, sometimes I wish I hadn't went down that road. I guess it's just because the season is changing and everywhere you look, it's the new color, the new shoe, the new new new! It's no secret that I am "$3.95" woman, but I get overwhelmed when I go to the mall and the feeling becomes anger and resentment to those people that have no problem, buying three outfits, or that are carrying various bags around. I then have to defer to mini-me, because her needs supersede mine right? {wondering aloud the validity of that statement}. Her sneakers come before that burnt orange pair of cute ass cropped pants that I already have a sandal for....Right? {someone remind me of my priorities please}. I'm going to stay out the malls until this 'feeling' passes.
What will you be remembered for?
Well it's spring, the flowers are blooming and seeds are being planted, a perfect time for my mom to get in my ass. {sigh} This time it's about my 'legacy' and that I'm on the cusp of being 40 and I have nothing to show for it. Except that I'm a Mom and an Employee - which aren't all that special. I have a wealth of knowledge, was given a vast of information and yet I do nothing with it. I'll look up and be 50 and have not done anything defining in my life.
You know, it's not like I have not been giving some of this some thought (now I won't cause she brought it up-I'm determined to make my own journey and not be pressured).
I don't feel like I've come into my own and I know it might sound really crazy, but to be honest - I have no 'set' plan and I have no 'set' idea as of yet what I want my defining moment to be.
It's funny that coming from super strong parents, my brotha is the only one with the furniture making that has come upon his 'calling'
Either I can't hear it, or I'm not listening because I haven't found it yet. It doesn't scare me because sometimes being mediocre is NOT a bad thing and being the best friend, mother, worker, lover (well when I have that opportunity) etc. IS a good thing - but I now feel this 'pressure' that maybe I should get to doing whatever IT is.
Does anyone else feel like this?
It's over before it begins
Boom! Ending it before it begins
Have we become so detached from the possibility of love and happiness that we come into situations as if they are already over? We meet people and they don't even know they don't have a chance, because we've built the walls so high, we can't even climb over them ourselves. Everyone no matter what,should feel that they deserve happiness and they deserve to be loved and cherished and honored and taken out to dinner and made to feel special. It's as if we've all been drinking so much vinegar that our tongues have become numb to the taste of honey and even if we could taste it - we reach for the vinegar because we've become accustomed. Let's not make vinegar a way of life - honey is one sweet condiment!
Dateless in Atlanta
Milk Does A Body Good
Hmmm, my mojo must have snuck back in, because here I am minding my own business and look up and there's someone in my eyesight. I wiped my glasses clean to take a good look and I like - now if I can keep myself from just getting back in my bed, I'll be fine. You know - with each 'maybe' you tend to pack your heart a little bit farther away - I'm tired of dancing in the front yard and never making it inside the house, but I'm still motivated to see how close I get to the door, lol
"Milk Man" and I connected and Destiny Child went a rambling thru my head. You know the verse 'oooh he lookin good and he talking right, he don't know it might be on tonite'. I'm intrigued and I'd like to explore the 'possibility', because that's all there ever is a 'possibility' the question is......of what? Can I keep from vomiting all of my fears on the hood of his truck, or am I ready to hop up in that cab and see where the ride takes me. I think as I sit here and type - that I'm going to put on my pink Tim's and learn some CB talk - what do I have to lose....there's always mapquest to bring my ass back home if I get lost.
Posted by Pamalicious ::
8:53 PM ::
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Thursday, April 07, 2005
Sunset Monologue 28
Drifting the Day Away
Playing Hooky
Well as I stood in front of my closet this morning; I looked at all the outfits I wear: Woman, Mother,Daughter,Worker,Chaueffer,Cook, Maid,Teacher,Nurse,Seamstress,Day Care Worker, Friend, and I didn't want to be any of that today. At MINIMUM I wanted to be Woman and Friend - so I played hooky. I went about my morning as if everthing was the same, turned my car around and came right back home.
Sometimes you just wanna be with yourself and not have all those 'outfits' on. Now I'm with myself alot as we know, but there are times when I actually want to be in the company of myself and welcome it. I am a strong believer that if you can't keep yourself company; you're really no good for anyone else. There are people who avoid themselves because the voices in their heads get to loud.
So today I hung out with myself. Drifting along doing chores, running errands and just in my own little world. It felt good...so good in fact, I think I'll Do it tomorrow. I've declared Thursday and Friday "Plicious Spring Break 2005".
For a short moment I felt a bit on the 'guilty bad mother' thing because I haven't really spent any time with Mini-me on this spring break. She has a social life however, lol she had done something fantastic every day this week! Movies, Bowling, Skating, Mall Shopping and tomorrow A day at the mall and going out to eat -so spending the weekend with her in status quo should do just fine. So I'm taking these two days, to just do me.
Plicious Does The Movies
So-So
Diary of a Mad Black Woman
"Ooooohh this is THE movie to go see as a black woman" "oooooo I had so many range of emotions" "ooooooooo EVERY black person should go see this movie" "Ahhhhh the second coming of black theatre I tell yah" "Man the critics don't know anything, just dissing a black film"
All comments I heard about the movie. It hit the theatre's with a bang! Sold out Everywhere! I was like dangggggggg. I'll wait till the dust settles. Well today I went to see it with "Janet". We chose it over Beauty Shop.
The second coming of black cinema I think not, but it was entertaining. I actually, and I saw the play, thought it was a good effort for a first time film maker but to me it seemed like a bunch of 'good ideas' that had already been done.
Both me and my girlfriend didn't see what the big deal was and all the 'emotion' attached to the movie. Several time when the What a woman should do speeches started we both rolled our eyes.
I mean we counted how many other movies we saw:
Color Purple
An Officer and A Gentleman
Waiting to Exhale
The Klumps
and a few others.
I found it hard to believe that this sista was sooo steady on her feet after what had just happened to her. I mean Bernadettte in Waiting to Exhale - could not function and this sista, especially seeing that she had no career or anything like that - was a bit too 'unemotional' if you ask me.
We were hollaring at Orlando and the matching headband thing, lol lol There were other funny parts that maybe were not suppose to be funny. As when Orlando went to the jazz club after working 12 hours at a steel mill in his work clothes! As they were dancing she said "ummmm he smells good" We fell out!
I don't know - I actually had gotten hyped because of all the arguing and Amening and everything, where I was like - hmmm let me stop being a cynic and go see the damn thing and quite frankly, I was disappointed.
I give it a C-
Sorry I wasn't blown over - we both said we should have seen Beautyshop.
Dateless in Atlanta
I was thinking about 'dating' in general and the first date. It's such a complex thing, lol. IF I decide to accept a date, I begin planning from the moment I say "sure that would be great" Personally, I enjoy first time Lunch Dates because I don't have to spend babysitting money (Brothas understand you all spend money and I appreciate it, but I spend $30-$35 before I even GET to the date on childcare, so cut a sista some SLACK!). Lunch is a great time to have a timed date as well, you can get a 'hint' of a person and see if a fire is sparked, this works especially well if it's an "off the net" meeting. There's a 'rumor' that women know what they want you for in the first five minutes, well we are SURE by the time the lunch date is over, lol and you will get your answer during the next phone call IF there is a phone call.
I like to keep the dates light and lively. First Impressions do STILL count and so I like to really make sure that I'm in the right frame of mind and that my heart is pure about the date, if I'm dragging or anything - I'd rather cancel because then I'm not in it. If I'm entertaining conversation from a man - I can't help but get excited about all the possibilities. I have learned thru trial and error, how to look honestly at that situation and still keep my wide eyed wonder - because that's me and why must I change because the world has become so funky?
If this is an off-line meeting, there are a whole nother set of what if's: what if he's a dork in person? what if that picture was from 93? what if we mesh well on the phone but suck in perso? what if upon further investigation he's not my type but I'm still his?, what if...what if...WHAT IF? Why don't I just go on one and see....
Plicious Book Nook Corner
April 26, 2005
I am trying to get back into reading. Having been a voracious reader all of my life, I remember a time when black themed books were few and far between and I would wish for all of our stories to be told. Well lo and behold it's 2005 and there are more books than you can count, more authors than you'll ever know and the market is FLOODED and I'm overwelmed. So I just stopped reading, but I feel a need inside to go back to that place where a good book, sometype of drink and my mind would carry me away.
I have kept up with one Author and one genre of writing that is my VERY FAVORITE! That's Beverly Jenkins and her Historical Romance Novels. Talk about H-O-T! My Bosom is heaving just thinking about them! Who would have thought a man fresh out of slavery or one who rode with Nat Turner could be so damn sexy!! You have not lived till you have experienced this sistas writing. I own all of her books and actually since alot of them are out of print they are 'worth' something. I keep them in a glass case and the spines are fresh as the day I bought them. Here are the Titles in her collection (now she has written some short stories in compilation books but these are her full length novels):
Historical Romances
Vivid, Topaz, Always and Forever, Before The Dawn, Through The Storm, A Chance At Love, Indigo, The Taming of Jessie Rose, Night Song
Her Young Adult Books (Historical Young Love)
Belle and the Beau, Josephine and the Soldier
Her Contemporary Novels (Modern Intrigue)
The Edge of Dawn, The Edge of Midnight
Her New Book, "Something Like Love", will be out April 26th. I will be there DAY ONE! Let me get ready to step outside cause it gets quite steamy up in here!
Posted by Pamalicious ::
9:46 PM ::
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Tuesday, April 05, 2005
Sunset Monologue 27
Life is a Series of Lists
Five on the Black Hand Side
Five Five Five Five Let's Sing A Song About FIVE - How Many Is FIVE?!
Things Brothas Say When They Meet Me
Pictures do you NO justice
What beautiful eyes
You're just like you are online
Wow you're alot thinner in person
You're short
Movies I Wanted to be In
Set It Off
Gone With the Wind
The Wiz
Love Jones
Disappearing Acts
Things I'd Grab In A Fire
My Photo Album
My Michael Jackson CD Collection
My Religious Materials
My Coach Pocketbook
My Computer
Fiction Books I've Read More Than Once
The Coldest Wynter
Everything by Beverly Jenkins
The Color Purple
Sex Chronicles
Waiting to Exhale
Drinks I like
Sea Breeze
Cape Cod
Vodka Water
Watermelon Puckers & Lemonade
Long Island Iced Tea
Restaurants I Like
Eats
Carabbas
India Palace
Roasters
Olive Tree in NY
Toys I like
My Scene Dolls
Bratz
American Girls
RuPaul Doll
Polly Pockets
Vacations I'd Like to take
Vegas
Western Caribbean Cruise
Egypt
Miami
California
Songs That Make Me Cry
Sparkle by Cameo
Lady of My Life by Michael Jackson
Yes by Whitney Houston
Heaven Can Wait by Michael Jackson
You Put A Move On My Heart by Tamia
You Are My Sunshine
Ahhh, what is it about the sun? As I was sitting outside today at lunch, my head instinctively lifted to feel it's rays. It's equivalent to touch in my book. I was drawn to it's power, soaking in it's rays, feeling my skin drink it in from a long winters nap. As I toasted in MY sun, I saw others TOASTING and I just had to laugh as my skin welcomed and embraced the sun MY sun; I'm glad you're back making love to me.
You attract some weird shit
and you know what I do - I can't even deny it, lol I am a magnet for just out the box situations:
A. I saw someone I had 'dealings' with on a VERY explicit site - okayyyy;
B. Someone I was chatting with (and flirting with) had 'dealings' with my younger
sista and now wants to go Herb to her Peaches and "Reunite";
Tomorrow is another day and my magnet is at full volume.
Baby Daddy of the Week
Courtesy of www.rundu.com
Posted by Pamalicious ::
8:11 PM ::
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Sunday, April 03, 2005
Sunset Monologue 26
Don't Call Us - We'll Call You
I heard the familiar *splash* on my computer indicating I had mail. I hadn't really had any all weekend - so I got up and went to see what it was. Much to my surprise, especially considering the topic of my previous blog entry, I was looking at for lack of a better word a written interview.
As I spoke about previously, wouldn't it be nice if people came with relationship ones, well here's the second part of that thought process, how about filling out this little questionnaire for me? I had a nice long laugh and OF COURSE I immediately decided to fill this bad boy out right here on my page. Hmmmm, anyone stumbling upon this place - will pretty much have a very nice picture of the working of me.....so let me get to filling out my application, lol
1. WHAT IS YOUR NAME?
Pam
2.HOW AND WHY ARE YOU SINGLE, YOU SEEM TO BE THE TOTAL PACKAGE?
There are alot of wonderful quality items that are left on the showroom floor for several reasons; someone may be used to shopping bargain basement, the price may be to high, the style might not be to their liking, someone told them to try something else, they are thinking of something else and pass it by, they don't like digging and prefer what's up front for easy access - So, I'll just continue to mature and appreciate in value and one day I'll be plucked up :)
3. WHAT IS IDEA OF A PERFECT SOUL MATE?
There is really no 'perfection' in hell, so that's a stretch.
4. WHAT IS YOUR IDEAL RELATIONSHIP?
One where everyone gets what they need when they need it - the truest form of equality.
5. WHAT MAKES YOU THE WOMAN YOU ARE NOW?
I am still evolving as a woman - so each experience, conversation, reflection, criticism and acknowledgement help in that process.
6. WHERE DO YOU SEE YOURSELF IN THE NEXT FIVE YEARS WITH REGARDS TO A FAMILY?
I will have a 16 year old daughter and continue to be the best mother/daughter/aunt/friend I can be.
7. IF YOU COULD CHANGE 5 THINGS ABOUT YOU WHAT WOULD THEY BE AND WHY?
Height - I want it to match the 'tall' way I think, lol
Worrying - it's time consuming
Forcing squares into circles - it hasn't worked since the beginning of time
Hesitation - sometimes just let go and let God
8. DO YOU LOVE UNCONDITIONALLY?
Condition is anything required for the performance, completion or existence of something else and "Un" means without - so no, I love conditionally because qualification is a must.
9.HOW IMPORTANT IS GOD IN YOUR LIFE?
He is Very Important but he counts on me to Help with my own destiny.
10.ARE YOU A SENSUAL WOMAN?
My five senses are very important to me in taking in and feeling all the wonders of my surroundings - so I am sensual in that I absorb and want to experience.
11.HOW OPEN MINDED ARE YOU?
I feel 'open minded' can actually hinder you because if you accept everything and anything - where is your foundation? I 'entertain' several thoughts/theories/beliefs.
12. DO YOU HAVE EROTIC TENDENCIES?
Being in tune with me and my surroundings leaves me open to erotic possibilities all the time.
13. WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR IF YOU ARE NOT LOOKING FOR A RELATIONSHIP?
I am leaving myself open to the possibility of love, honor, and cherishment
14. DO YOU BELIEVE IN PREMARITAL OR CASUAL SEX?
To be 'casual' is to have no responsibility to the person you lay with; to be intimate is something completely different. Sex before Marriage can be 'telling'
15. IS MARRIAGE SOMETHING YOU LOOK FORWARD TO? WHAT DO YOU BRING TO THE TABLE IN A MARRIAGE OR IN A RELATIONSHIP?
Having been married, I believe in the covenant of it and the necessity for it - see 'resume' below for qualifications
16. WHAT DOES SUCCESS MEANS TO AND HOW DO YOU MEASURE IT?
I measure a persons success by how they present it to me, since it's a personal goal and achievement. Each persons 'success' is measured by them and acknowledge or ignored by me.
17.WHO WAS MOST INFLUENTIAL PERSON IN YOUR LIFE TO DATE?
ALL of my Parents
18.HOW ARE YOU PERCEIVED BY OTHERS AND DO YOU THINK MEN ARE INTIMIDATED BY YOU?
As a kind, funny, quirky, involved person. Men are not intimidated BY me moreso by what I REPRESENT - with me comes responsibility.
19. WHAT IS YOUR OUTLOOK ON THE WORLD?
That it is round - so there is no new information and it is up to each person to seek and find that which will give them the greatest amount of peace and usually it's among those that are LIKE you and not UNLIKE you.
20. WHAT ARE YOUR DEEPEST DESIRES?
To reveal my deepest desires will leave them up for (1) discussion (2) critique and (3) intrepretation - so they are MY deepest desires for me to either bring to light or keep hidden, unless someone picks the right key.
21.HOW CAN I GET TO KNOW YOU BETTER AND BE YOUR FRIEND?
Usually people who succeed in getting to know me - understand quickly that I'm not that difficult to figure out, and approach me as such, lol - they immediately put something on my mind and intrigue me to want to KNOW them - that usually comes thru good conversation that opens a door and exposes a new road I might want to travel.
Posted by Pamalicious ::
9:17 PM ::
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Saturday, April 02, 2005
Sunset Monologue 25
I Think I Betta Let It Go!
Are You a Goat?
"You're A Goat"; I looked at the words staring at me in the little IM Box and thus begun two days of introspective. I KNEW it didn't mean Greatest Of All Time, lol or I was a four legged farm animal, so I had to dig into the methorphical statement and it meant that I just kept 'chewing on shit' long after it should have been digested. What's funny about the statement is that I agreed, because in the context it was used and with whom it was used (MoBetta) it was correct.
What's funny about the memory process is that your memory is like a file cabinet. You have the files you keep on your desk (your short term memory) and the files you keep on archive (your long term memory). The problem arises when you update the files on your desk, but not your archived ones. Your memory is stimulated by 'triggers' and when these happen, you pull out the file and go with that. Very few of us (especially women) actually go in and update the file appropriately...thus the Goat effect.
So in my mind, I'm no longer hurt, no longer making voodoo dolls and no longer angry, however the file says otherwise. I really had to think about that and why I have had such a hard time updating that file in ink. Especially when I now realize that it's on me like a club foot. Maybe it's because I care, maybe it's because in looking at the same spots we see two different butterflies - but what I do know is that it was a wake up call. I sat down these last two days and updated that file in ink and put that page on the top of the folder.
I be damn if I'm going to keep chewing on my own vomit. "Mobetta" and I have grazed in this field for so long, it's time to let new grass grow with us, the earth still has the capacity - so why not let it. Today my friends, I swallowed!
Beyonce and Janet Hittin The Road
The Road Trip - - A Teaser
Well peeps, I'll be going on a Thelma and Louise Road Trip come June. I'm sooooooo excited (that's sad ain't it, lol) Me and "Janet" will be hitting the road for Philly/NJ/NY. I've already begun laying out our itinerary because she would expect nothing less. I've begun compiling the special CD's I'll be burning for the trip and the travel packet, lol lol We'll be dropping off Mini-me with my mom (for like five weeks - that's ANOTHER story, me in ATL in Summer; No Child insert James Evans laugh HERE. So stay tuned for trip prep updates and then the travel log and pictures!
BLURTS
I've added a couple of new 'blogs' to my favorite lists - don't forget to support the other brothas and sistas.
I'm slippin back into netting - don't okay - I already KNOW!
Posted by Pamalicious ::
8:53 PM ::
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